“Not quite old enough,” he mumbled.
“He doesn’t want me to stay,” I said with a grimace. “He says that I’ll end up dropping out of school.”
“That your plan?”
“No. I want to finish college. I’m not sure what I want to do yet, but I want to have that degree.”
“Then that’s what you’ll do,” my dad said simply. “I’ve never seen you give up on anythin’ you set your mind to, kiddo. That ain’t your style.”
“You really won’t be mad if I come home?”
“Not a bit,” he said immediately. “You do what’s best for you, Lily. I’ll support ya.”
“Thanks, Daddio,” I said softly, giving his foot a squeeze.
I was still sitting on the end of his bed when my mom and sisters came in the door, laughing.
“I like the black,” Charlie said, looking at her nails instead of where she was walking. “They make me look fierce.”
“You do look pretty fierce,” Cecilia replied with a smile. She glanced up at me and my dad and her smile disappeared.
“I’m gonna go take a shower,” I said, glancing back at my dad. “I told Trix I’d keep the boys tonight.”
I left the room and detoured to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before I headed upstairs. For some reason, I figured that Cecilia would avoid me since I’d been giving her the cold shoulder, but of course, my sister never made things easy.
“Where were you today?” she asked as she sat down at the counter. “You could’ve come with us.”
I don’t know what made me say it. Maybe it was a mixture of leftover anger at Leo and frustration that my mom was acting the happiest I’d seen her in years. Maybe it was just that I wanted to aim a well-placed arrow at Cecilia for once instead of the other way around, but whatever it was, it had my mouth opening and the words spilling out before I could stop them.
“I was busy fucking Leo.”
“Jesus Christ, Lily,” my mom said in frustration as she stepped into the kitchen.
I didn’t even look up. I was too busy staring at my sister’s emotionless face.
“Well, I hope it was good,” she said finally, turning away.
“Much better than a manicure,” I said smugly as I walked out of the kitchen.
It wasn’t until I hit the stairs that my stomach churned with disgust. I’d used something between me and Leo, something that was significant and special, to make a dig at my older sister. A dig that hadn’t even seemed to hit the mark.
I grabbed some clothes and hopped in the shower, still castigating myself about what I’d said. It wasn’t anyone’s business that I’d slept with Leo, and somehow I’d made it into something it wasn’t. Something that looked a lot like revenge, when in reality, it hadn’t had a single thing to do with Cecilia.
I was washing my hair when her voice piped up beyond the shower curtain.
“I know you’re still mad at me.”
“Goddamnit, Ceecee,” I yelled as shampoo got into my eyes and nose. “I locked the fucking door!”
“That lock is easy to jimmy. Don’t you remember when you were little and accidentally locked yourself in when I was babysitting? I thought you were going to have a heart attack, and you just kept telling me to slide fruit snacks under the door so you wouldn’t starve.”
“And of course, you didn’t,” I snapped.
“Nope, I unlocked the door instead and got you some ice cream, if I remember correctly.”
“What do you want?” I asked, wiping the last of the shampoo from my face. “Spit it out and then get out.”
“Why are you still so mad, Lily? Jesus. It’s been years.”
“Exactly,” I ground out. “We haven’t seen you in years and suddenly you’re back and renting cars and taking Mom to get her nails done, and I’m supposed to… what? Welcome you with open arms?”
“That’s the general idea,” she said dryly.
“No. Fuck you. You left me. You left and you didn’t even come back when I needed you.”
“When you got your sight back?” she asked curiously. “Is that when you needed me? Because I thought about it. I even asked Mom if I should.”
“Right,” I replied derisively.
“She told me to stay where I was. Said that you were having a hard time and she didn’t want anything making you more upset. I think she was afraid that something was going to trigger you and make you lose your sight again.”
“That’s bullshit,” I muttered.
“Swear to God, Lil. We decided that it was probably better if I just stayed away.”
“It’s been years since that happened.”
“Yeah, and Mom and Dad have been to San Diego twice to see me.”
“You shouldn’t have left,” I said, shaking my head even though I knew she couldn’t see me.
“I had to, kid,” she replied with a sigh.
“What, because you and the ’rents got in a fight? Jesus, dramatic much?”