“You’d be surprised at what a man can forgive when it comes to the woman he loves.”
“He doesn’t love me.”
“Baby girl, if he doesn’t love you then I don’t know what the fuck love’s supposed to be.”
“If I see him, I’ll make sure he knows that there are no hard feelings, okay?” I said, trying to make him stop talking. “But he has a lot bigger shit on his plate than catching up with a girl he hasn’t seen in two and a half years.”
“Good,” Dad said. “Cause I need you to stop by the clubhouse today and ask him to come see me.”
I opened my mouth to refuse him, but when I saw the way his eyes had darkened, I shut it again. I wasn’t sure what my dad had to say to Leo, and it wasn’t any of my business, but I had a feeling that a meeting between the two of them was probably necessary.
“Are you—” my words cut off as I tried to figure out exactly what I wanted to say. “Were you good friends with Ashley?”
Dad smiled and snickered before freezing in pain, then shook his head. “You think your mom would let me be friends with a pretty, blonde, twenty year old?” he joked tightly. “No, we weren’t friends. Liked her, though. Liked the way she was with Leo, givin’ him a say in shit from the very beginning. Liked how she treated their boy. Liked that she made sure the club was a big part of Gray’s life like it was for you kids. She was a good girl. Loyal. Sweet. Didn’t deserve to die before her kid hit fuckin’ preschool.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Saw her, kiddo,” he said softly. “Tried to get to her before the ambulance got there.” He grimaced and shook his head sharply. “Nothin’ I could do. At least she was gone quick. None of that lingerin’, in pain shit. Just bam, gone.”
I nodded and reached out, laying my hand on his good arm.
“She wasn’t scared.”
“Nah,” he said. “She wasn’t.”
We sat there in silence for a long time after that, until finally my dad spoke up, his voice tight with emotion.
“That motherfucker is lucky he was dead before he made contact, ’cause I woulda killed him.”
* * *
My mom showed up a few hours later, carrying a bag of my dad’s stuff, her hair perfectly curled and her makeup flawless.
“Damn it, Ladybug,” my dad bitched against her mouth as she leaned down to kiss him on the lips. “I told you to get some fuckin’ sleep.”
“Don’t like sleeping without you,” she replied, completely unperturbed. “So I packed you some stuff and had Callie bring me back.”
“I told you to sleep,” he said again, his voice growing more agitated.
“And that’s my cue to leave,” I interrupted before I had to watch war erupt in that tiny hospital room.
“You go do that thing I asked,” Dad said, turning his head toward me. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll stop on my way home. What’s Charlie doing today?” I asked my mom. “Should I go pick her up?”
“Not sure if she’ll want to leave Cam’s unless she’s comin’ up here, but I know she wants to see you.”
“Okay, I’ll stop by there.”
I said my goodbyes and left the hospital room just as my dad started in again about my mom not getting any sleep.
There were only a couple people still in the waiting room. I liked to think of them as the skeleton crew, and I waved to them as I climbed onto the empty elevator just as the doors were closing. Now that my dad was awake and on the mend, there would only be two or three people standing guard and providing support until he left the hospital. They’d change throughout the day and over night, with everyone taking a turn.
I felt kind of bad that I hadn’t said hi to Rocky and my cousin Tommy as I’d raced onto the elevator, but I just didn’t have the patience for small talk when I knew that I had to go find Leo. He hadn’t seemed happy to see me outside the hospital the night before, and I was dreading the reaction I’d get when I actually sought him out. Did he hate me?
If I was in his shoes, I’d probably hate me. The way I’d left and never spoken to him again made me cringe. If he’d ever wondered about my maturity level when he’d finally given up other women and set his sights on me exclusively, he must have figured it out when I’d acted like a spoiled brat, pouting for months before finally moving away.
His son had been born before I’d left, and I hadn’t made one attempt to find out anything about him. I’d known when the baby was born, but I’d refused to even acknowledge his birth. For me, they’d no longer mattered.