“What’s wrong?” I asked, fear making my voice come out high.
“Lily,” he said, taking a step forward.
“You never call me Lily,” I replied, watching him carefully.
“You’re the most—”
“You never call me Lily,” I said again, suspiciously, my heart beginning to race.
“Baby—”
“Why are you calling me Lily?”
“Dandelion,” he said softly, taking another step toward me.
“No,” I ordered, raising my hand. “Stop.”
Leo’s shoulders dropped, and I felt everything inside me, everything that made me me, begin to shake. That’s when I noticed that my dad had left Leo and I completely alone.
“What did you do?” I asked, my eyes beginning to burn. “What did you do, Leo?”
“I love you.”
“What did you do?”
“Ashley’s pregnant.”
“No, she’s not.” I shook my head.
“I didn’t know,” he said, his voice pleading. “I swear, I didn’t.”
Everything inside me quieted to nothing.
“You’re going to have a baby,” I said flatly. “With someone else.”
“I’m so sorry, Dandelion,” he said, coming even closer to my spot at the bottom of the stairs.
“Babies aren’t something to be sorry about,” I replied, lifting my chin. “Don’t say that again.”
“That wasn’t what I meant—”
“Thanks for letting me know,” I cut him off. I tried to smile, but that small prevarication was impossible. “Congratulations.”
“What? No.” He finally reached me, but his hand on my face brought none of the familiar feelings that I’d come to expect. I was numb with disbelief. Numb with horror. Numb with the realization that the man I loved was going to be building a life with someone else. I felt nothing.
“I think you should go,” I said softly, pulling his hand off my face. “Good luck, Leo.”
“I’m not with her,” he argued, reaching for me again. “This doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything,” I replied incredulously. “I’m seventeen.”
“I know how old you are.”
“You’re going to be a dad.”
“I know.”
“I’m seventeen,” I said again, swatting at his hands.
“It’s time for you to leave, Leo,” my mom said kindly as she stepped into view.
His arms dropped to his sides in defeat as he stared at me like he didn’t even know me.
“I was there for you,” he said so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him. “I’ve always had your back.”
Then he turned and strode out the front door, closing it respectfully behind him, though I knew he’d wanted to slam it.
“You did good, Lilybug,” my mom said gently. I stiffened as she hugged me. “You did the right thing.”
“Does everyone know?” I asked dully as she let me go.
“No. Just me and your dad. Leo wanted to tell you first.”
“Okay.” I nodded. Swallowed. Nodded again. “I got into Yale.”
I was already turning toward the stairs when my mom finally said, “You did?”
“Yeah.” I looked over my shoulder at her and smiled wanly. “We should probably start figuring out finances if I’m moving across the country.”
“I’m so proud of you, Lily,” she called as I forced myself up each stair.
“Thanks, Ma.”
Rose was at my door, her arms wide with welcome and understanding as I stumbled toward her. Thank God, my cousin always eavesdropped. She knew exactly what I needed and I hadn’t had to say a word.
“We’re going to fucking own New Haven,” she whispered into my ear. “I hope you didn’t think you were going without me.”
Part 2
Chapter 15
Lily
Two years and three months in New Haven, and the place still didn’t feel like home. The weather was too harsh and the humidity killed, and I couldn’t stand all the people. I was making it work, I even had fun with Rose on occasion, but living there still felt like a shirt that wasn’t sewn correctly and pulled in all the wrong places.
I was doing it, though. I’d been plugging along, doing my schoolwork and tutoring for extra cash, like my dad had advised me to. Well, he’d actually told me to write papers for the rich kids, but I figured my way was a bit safer for my scholarships with the ethics clauses. As long as I planned everything down to the hour and stuck to my schedule, I did alright. I even had time to hang out with Rose, even if it was just sitting at the bar where she worked, watching her sling drinks for frat boys and trust fund babies.
The first year had been hard because I’d had to live in the dorms while Rose shared an apartment with five other people, but we’d made it work. Eventually, we had been able to get a place together. We had to share the two-bedroom apartment with two other people in order to afford it, but since we’d been living in each other’s pockets for our entire lives, sharing a bedroom wasn’t too bad.
I groaned as I hit the first flight of stairs in our building and readjusted my messenger bag across my chest. Early morning classes sucked ass, but I’d realized in my first year that it helped to get a jump on everything if classes were knocked out first thing and I had the rest of the day to actually do the work. Rose worked so late most nights that she was rarely awake by the time I got home, so I usually had a couple of hours of quiet before she climbed out of bed and started jabbering.