Black edged at my vision and I shook my head to clear it. No. No fucking way.
“I didn’t have to take pills or anything, so that way I knew I wouldn’t forget.”
“No,” I mumbled, unable to take my eyes off her face, even though I wanted so badly to look around the room for someone to save my ass.
“I was going to get an abortion—”
My stomach pitched like I was going to be sick.
“—but I couldn’t do it. I’m so sorry, Leo.”
“You’re sure?” I rasped out. She nodded. “You’re sure it’s mine?”
She winced, but nodded. I hoped she saw it as a fair question. We’d been with each other a lot, but neither of us had made any promises. For all I knew, she’d been seeing other people.
“Fuck me,” I breathed, finally able to look away. The room was spinning as I stared at my work boots, trying to make sense of the epic clusterfuck my life had just become.
“I don’t need anything from you,” she said quietly, her voice wobbling. “You didn’t ask for this and—”
“You didn’t ask for it either,” I cut in, wiping my hand down my face as I tried to find some sense of control.
“I didn’t want to say anything. I have a good job, and I’ve got this. But telling you was the right thing to do,” she said, shrugging. She brushed at the tears on her face.
“Thank you,” I replied, meeting her eyes again. Even if it was the most unwelcome news I could’ve imagined, the thought of having a kid out there that I knew nothing about was abhorrent.
“You’re welcome,” she said, shuffling her feet a little. “The doctor said I just hit my second trimester, so I’ve still got a long way to go before it gets here.”
I nodded dumbly, wondering what else I should say. What the fuck was I supposed to say?
“Okay, well,” she said, sighing. “I’ll keep you updated, okay?”
I nodded, my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth, making speech impossible.
I stood there silently as she left, and then I stood there some more, my eyes so wide that I was sure they looked like they were going to pop out of my head at any second.
I swayed on my feet, but didn’t reach for anything, kind of hoping I’d go down and knock myself out.
“Whoa, kid,” Casper said from behind me, his hands grabbing my shoulders. “Take a seat.”
As soon as I’d dropped into a chair and he saw my face, he jerked back.
“You’re pale as your mother,” he said. “Never thought I’d see that happen. You okay?”
“Ashley’s pregnant,” I replied.
I saw his fist come at my face in slow motion, but I didn’t move, just closed my eyes and let it come.
“Goddamn it, Leo,” he said as I recovered from the punch that had rattled my jaw.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” I whispered, clenching my jaw against the very real urge to cry.
“Shit,” he said softly. Then, without any warning, Lily’s dad was hugging me tight, his hand on the back of my head, pushing my eyes against his shoulder. “It’s alright, son. It’s gonna be alright.”
I didn’t really see how that was possible.
Chapter 14
Lily
“You don’t know me,” I yelled at Rose as she tried to steal my Spanish homework so she could copy it. “Don’t tell me how to live my life!”
“You’re such an asshole,” she laughed. “Hand it over.”
“Why don’t you just do it yourself?”
“Because I want a good grade and you’re the one who got into Yale!”
“Shh,” I warned, smacking her with the paper. “I haven’t told my parents, idiot.”
“Well, why not?” she asked, snatching the paper out of my hand.
“Because my dad really wants me to go there, and I don’t want to hear it.”
“You’re going,” Rose said, shaking her head. “You’re not stupid enough to give up Yale.”
“I got into plenty of other schools.”
“Yeah, but Yale.”
“It’s really expensive.”
“So? Dude, if you graduate from Yale, you can pay off all your loans with the fancy ass job you get.”
“I think I want to stay in Oregon,” I said quietly, not meeting her eyes as I pulled my calculus book out of my backpack. “In-state tuition is way cheaper.”
“Oh, bullshit,” Rose said, slapping my bed. “You just don’t want to leave Leo.”
A knock on my bedroom door silenced me before I could protest.
“Lily, you’ve got a visitor downstairs,” my dad said through the door.
“A visitor?” Rose asked as his footsteps grew faint. “Who’d come to see you? I’m already here.”
“No idea.” I rolled off my bed and soothed down my braid. “I’ll be right back.”
I jogged down the stairs and came to an abrupt stop when I saw Leo standing in the middle of our living room. He looked like shit. His eyes were bloodshot as hell, and his face was paler than I’d ever seen it. He looked sick.