“Why do you call me that?”
“I call you firefly because you’re a little light shining bravely in the darkness.” He shrugs. “Your light illuminates the darkness.”
For a moment, the world turns on its axis.
My heart hammers in my chest, hummingbirds trying to take flight inside me.I close my eyes, trying to halt the feelings running through me.
“But why all this—” I whisper.“It’s so much.”
Something in his demeanor shifts. His back straightens, and his features darken slightly. “After your brother…The way he fell. I owe you—”
I furrow my brow at his words and the change in him. “What do you mean? What do you know about his fall?” Everything inside me feels frozen, but he’s quick to shake his head.
“My career. I might not have brought him into the fold, but I allowed him to continue to spiral downhill, and for that, I’m sorry.”
It’s not the declaration I wanted. Nor is it the answer to what happened to Roman, but I guess his remorse is a start. He wasn’t the one to hurt him, but he feels the loss, and he takes responsibility for his part. It’s time I acknowledge that no one made Roman do what he did.
“Roman’s death isn’t on you, Gideon. Roman’s drug use…” I try to gain composure. Talking about him and that time always pulls me under, but this time, I need to swallow that down and offer an olive branch. “There is only one person to blame for his death, and that’s Roman.”
We both become quiet after that, and that’s when I’m able to appreciate the night sky.
Fireflies flitter around, lighting up the horizon around us.
“This is truly magnificent.”
He smiles. “I thought you might like it.”
I turn to look at him, and I realize he’s watching me. His eyes are filled with an emotion I can’t place. It’s too dark to know what it means, but it feels like something special is happening here.
“Tell me about your favorite score to play,” he says, breaking the heaviness of the moment.
And I do. It’s easy to forget where we started when we talk like this. When he listens. It’s easy being with him, and the scariest part is that falling for him could be just as easy.
It could also be my demise.
* * *
“Sasha,”a voice says from across the room. It’s hard to hear, and a part of me thinks I might still be sleeping. “Time to wake up.”
“Not yet,” I groan, swatting away the sound, but as my hand lifts into the air, I hear my name again.
Burying my head under the pillow drowns it out, but something tells me Gideon won’t stop annoying me until he gets what he wants, and what he wants is me awake.
“Why are you up? Better question, why are you talking to me at this ungodly hour?”
“It’s nine a.m., hardly ungodly,” he mocks. “Plus, breakfast is ready.”
It’s morning. How the hell did that happen?It happened because you were so relaxed that you slept like a log, and it’s all because of him.
Pulling the pillow away from my eyes, I’m met with a familiar pair of cerulean. “I’m not hungry.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re still eating.” Gideon stares at me from across the room, and in his stern gaze, I can tell there is no room for argument. He leans against the wall, arms crossed as if he’s waiting for me to object.
I won’t. I know better than to do that. “Why do you have to be so annoying?” My heart skips a beat as I watch Gideon laugh. It fills me with warmth. A thought I don’t want to read too much into, but it does nonetheless.
I’m pathetic.
“I’m not annoying.” His lips tip up into a grin, and now I’m truly screwed. His smile is dazzling, reminding me of a morning sun rising up over an ocean. Glimmering silver, like little diamonds. “I’m just trying to make sure you eat.”