Firefly,
I miss you. Being away from you is torture. All I think about is you.
I’ll see you soon. x-G
Walking over to my bed,I fall back on it.
I miss him too, and I know, without a doubt, I’ve fallen for him.
He sparks a light inside me that I didn’t know I had.
Looking over at the cello case in the corner, I consider playing, but something else pops into my mind.
I remember the courage I felt when Gideon was touching me while I played, the way I felt like I could conquer the world.
And, for a moment, I did. I conquered my fears, and I can do that now.
Feeling brave, I look toward the shiny wood side table.
The computer.
Gideon loaned me a computer to keep myself busy, and he also suggested that I apply to Juilliard.
I can almost feel Gideon behind me still, but instead of touching me while I play, he’s cooing in my ear and telling me to be daring.
To go for my dreams.
That’s exactly what needs to be done.
“Big girl panties on, Sasha,” I say to myself out loud, and then a laugh bubbles up through my throat.
I turn my head in the direction of the smoke detector.Tosmoke, I think it deserves a nickname.
“Hey, Smoke. See what I’m doing?”
For all I know, I’m talking to myself, but hey, you never know, he might see me grabbing the computer.
“I’m applying to Juilliard.”
Obviously, he won’t answer, but a smile still spreads across my face as I imagine him sitting back in his office, video footage of me playing.
Granted, he could also be busy and not observing me, but knowing there is a possibility has me opening up the laptop and going to the application page for Juilliard.
I spend the next few minutes checking everything I need to submit.
The truth is, I know what I need. I’ve looked at this website and the requirements more times than I care to count, but I run down the list one more time.
Essay and instructional video are two things I can do from this room.
Next, I run through the questions.
Why have you chosen to become a musician, and what motivates you to continue to pursue music at the collegiate/professional level? Please also elaborate specifically on why you are applying to Juilliard and how conservatory training will support your future goals.
Looking back up to the smoke detector, I shake my head at the camera.
“This would be easier if you were here.” Then I giggle. “Oh, who am I kidding? I wouldn’t be able to get anything done if you were here.”
I grab the computer and take a seat at the desk that overlooks the grounds. The drapes are pulled back now, and as I sit in my chair, gazing out the window at a sunset that dyes the sky in vivid swaths of red and orange, I can feel the ideas swirling around inside me, eager to get out.