It was her turn to go.
She stood up and raised her shoulders. ‘I’m going to go. I need to collect Nixi and Snow from school.’
That wasn’t for a couple of hours, but she couldn’t stay here and be tortured by what she couldn’t have. Seeing him was like backsliding into addiction again—one hit and she was toast. She’d be suffering withdrawal symptoms for days, possibly weeks, now.
‘Don’t go,’ Cole said, his voice breaking.
What was the point of her staying? She was just prolonging the agony. ‘Cole...’
‘Please stay. Not just for now, but for ever. Please don’t walk away from me.’
From a place far away, Lex heard the sound of the car keys hitting the floor and she jammed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and told her feet to stay where they were. She was not going to run to him and throw himself in his arms.
Not just yet anyway.
‘Why not?’ she asked quietly. ‘How are you going to persuade me to stay?’
If he said money and...stuff...she’d brain him with the rather lovely hand-blown glass bowl sitting on the coffee table behind him.
Cole walked towards her and stopped when they were just inches apart, close enough for her to go up onto her tiptoes and kiss the underside of his stubbled jaw. His hand cradled her face and Lex steeled herself not to react. Yes, her knees wanted to melt, yes, she wanted to kiss him and, yes, she wanted to stand in the protective band of his arms.
But if he couldn’t give her what she most needed...
Cole’s thumb brushed over her jaw. ‘I’m not good at relationships, Lex, but I’ve been better with you in two weeks than I’ve ever been with anyone before. Something about you opened up something in me and, while I don’t think I’ll ever wear my heart on my sleeve as a matter of routine, I will with you. And with any children—yours, ours—that share our house and lives. I refuse to be like him—cold, selfish, alone, bitter. Unloved. Unabletolove.’
Lex felt a ball in her chest and found she was struggling to take in enough air. She had no idea what to say, even where to start. Then Cole bracketed her face with his hands and he gently, so tenderly, swiped his mouth across hers.
‘I love you, Lex, and I want to keep loving you for the rest of my life.’
She closed her eyes, thrilled to her core, infused with a blinding white light of pure joy. But there was still a whisper of doubt...
‘Cole, you’re saying everything I wanted to hear but—’
‘But you are raising your sisters...you have Addi to think of...you have responsibilities,’ he interrupted her. ‘You also have a degree to finish and a career to start. Fine.’
She held his wrists and raised her eyebrows. ‘What does “fine” mean? How can I do that, and have a relationship with you when you live ten thousand miles away?’
He moved his hands to her hips and she noticed that his eyes had warmed to amber. ‘I’m going to relocate and won’t travel so much. I’ll help with the school runs, I’ll help with homework, I’m pretty good at maths...’
She held up her hand, a little overwhelmed. ‘Wait, whoa. Are you suggesting that you move in with us?’ Their house was tiny and there wasn’t room for someone as big and bold as Cole.
‘I was thinking that maybe you could move in with me. There’s a massive house behind us that I’ve just bought, sweetheart.’ He saw her shock and ignored it. ‘If you say yes, then Addi could move into the guest house, your other sister can use the apartment over the garage and the younger girls can live with us and run between their and our houses. We can hire an au pair to look after the girls to free up some of your time so you can get your degree done. Bottom line, I just want to wake up every day in our bed with you in my arms, be in your life.’
Oh, man, that sounded like every dream she’d ever had coming thundering towards her but she still wasn’t sure that he knew how much he was taking on. ‘Cole, the girls are strong-willed and demanding. They are messy and loud. They fight and cry and are overly dramatic. They will be a constant part of my life for the next ten to twelve years.’
He placed a kiss on her cheek, then on her jaw, and Lex found it hard to think. ‘Of course they will. I understand that, in marrying you, I acquire four sisters, two of whom will be moving in with us. I get it, Lex, and I don’t care. I would take on a whole orphanage of kids if that’s what you wanted.’
Then he shrugged and Lex saw a hint of excitement in his eyes, a smidgeon of terror. ‘I didn’t have much to do with my brother, and don’t remember my sister, so maybe I can share yours.’
He’d never had a family and she could see he was desperate for one. He needed the girly hugs and the drama, to come home to a house filled with love, noise, music and laughter. He needed a family more than he knew. But it still wasn’t enough to dispel all her doubt that they could work.
‘I’m terrified that in six months, a year, you’ll decide that this, us, is too much and that you’ve made a mistake and you’ll walk away,’ Lex said, feeling a tiny crack form in her heart. ‘I’m scared to take that risk, Cole, but I’m terrified for the girls. I won’t have them hurt because you promised to love them and then walked away. I’d risk my heart, but not theirs.’
Cole held her eyes. ‘I wish I could stand here and tell you that I’m going to be great at this immediately, Lex. But the truth is that I’ll probably be overwhelmed and want to tear my hair out occasionally. But I promise you—Ipromiseyou—that I won’t walk. I won’t just wake up one morning and bail. I will stick and I will stay and wewillwork through everything life throws at us. It will be worth it. That I know,’ he told her with complete conviction in his voice.
‘How? How can you know that?’ Lex demanded.
‘Because we are better, stronger, happier together than we are apart, sweetheart.’