“Only time will tell. You should think of a relationship with her the same way you do about opening that kitchen in Gilbert Corners. Only do it if you’re going to see it through. Otherwise, you’ll both end up getting hurt.”
The bookshop was busy on Sundays as a rule. Nola set up a pop-up coffee stand in the front of the shop and Indy hosted a children’s reading hour between two and three so that parents could browse in her shop or other stores on Main Street.
She’d dreamt of Conrad all night and woken up hungry for him. She couldn’t wait for the weekend. It felt like she’d spent most of her adult life waiting for something, and until yesterday, she hadn’t realized what it was. She’d frozen a part of herself, afraid she wouldn’t find her own path after that horrible date and the attack that had followed. Even Wayne hadn’t really been able to handle it.
He’d been her high school boyfriend, and when she’d come back home, she’d tried to date him again. He was safe and he loved her. But she’d never been able to relax with him. She told herself she left her hometown because he got engaged, but she knew it was really to spare herself any residual disappointment.
She knew she’d been lucky to escape with just some scrapes, bruises and a fear of intimacy. She’d punched her attacker Ben so hard in the throat that he hadn’t been able to speak for a few weeks. The claw marks on his eyes had taken longer to fade.
The incident had made Indy face the violence within herself, and whenever she saw Ben on campus, she’d felt sickened being near him and an irrational sense of pride at the damage she’d caused him. Eventually she dropped out and started going to online school.
That incident had cemented in her that she had a very large capacity for doing violence to another person. She knew if pushed, she’d react that way. And until last night, she hadn’t realized that she also had a lot of passion inside her. She’d shied away from anything that stirred her emotions, wrapped herself in a bubble and faked a friendliness that wasn’t true to herself.
But even Wayne, who she’d always trusted, hadn’t been able to break through the wall she’d built around herself. They’d worked together on remodeling the bookshop in town and she’d filmed herself doing the job, finding some balance inside herself, and some peace.
Once she and Nola had decided on this path, it had felt right. Like exactly what she needed. She knew she’d sort of lied to Conrad about why she was here. No use mentioning the old boyfriend who was getting married in her hometown. She also knew saying she didn’t want to be like her mom had a lot to do with the fact that she’d secretly hoped shewaslike her mom and had found the love of her life.
When Wayne had rejected her, moved on so quickly and gotten engaged...well, Lansdowne hadn’t felt like home anymore. Her producers had suggested they remodel another town and she’d jumped at the chance to be somewhere new.
Gilbert Corners.
She genuinely liked the people here, even the town council when they’d been difficult about her ideas for the park cleanup and the spring fling. She knew a big part of that was the image she had of small towns in her head. It didn’t help that she had grown up watchingGilmore Girlsand then fallen further for small towns viewingSchitt’s Creek. Those shows had given her a glimpse of something she’d never realized she wanted.
She glanced at her phone. She’d sneakily taken a screen shot of the video call last night, so she opened it after making sure no one could see her and clicked on the saved photo of Conrad.
In the dim light of his bedroom, one side of his features were in shadow. She traced her finger over the jagged scar that disappeared into his beard and zoomed in to look more closely at his eyes, trying to read his emotions. It was hard to say for certain, but she saw passion and need in them. She sighed.
“What are you doing?”
She jumped and screamed. “Nola, you scared me.”
“Yeah, I can see that. You seemed lost in thought,” she said, craning her neck to see the screen.
Indy quickly hit the button to close the phone and stuffed it into her pocket. “What’s up?”
“Thought I’d see if you wanted to take a lunch break,” she said. “I stopped by the deli on my way here—the owners want to talk to you about filming its renovations. They have some good ideas. I took a look around the place and have some photos if you want to look at them.”
“Great. I have my eye on the old general store/five-and-ten space. But that is going to be a big job. So the deli might be a nice place to film and get the town involved even more.”
She led the way back to the office. After Nola had closed the door and they were both seated, Indy at her desk and Nola in the guest chair, they conference called her producer to discuss options. The production team wanted to meet the next weekend, but Indy had promised it to Conrad, and for the first time since she started the show she decided to keep that day for herself. Everyone was surprised she wasn’t available but just agreed on a later date for the in-person talks.
“What are you doing this weekend? I’ve literally never heard you say no,” Nola said.
“I know. But Conrad is taking me to his place in New York and he’s going to fix me dinner,” she said as Nola handed her a pastrami on rye sandwich.
“That’s...wait, when did he do that?”
“Last night. He called me close to midnight,” she said.
“Uh, that’s interesting. So this thing between you two is more than just a kiss?” she asked.
Indy wrapped one arm around her own waist trying to hold in her excitement. It wasn’t as simple as she wished it were. “Honestly, I don’t know, and I’m not sure what to expect. Or if I’ll even be chill enough to enjoy myself with him. But I want to go.”
“I don’t blame you. I mean, heishot. All the Gilberts are so beautiful. Why are the rich also pretty? Seems like an unfair distribution of resources to me.”
Indy laughed. “He is hot. I haven’t been this turned on by a guy in real life since... Wayne. Which worries me—I don’t want to make him into someone he’s not just to make myself feel better.”
Nola put her sandwich down and came over to hug Indy. “It’s okay to give it a few minutes thought, but don’t let it overwhelm you. You said you’ve found yourself again. And I can see that. This move has changed you. It’s like...well, like you’re the woman I met in the freshman dorm who was ready to set the world on fire.”