She shakes her head. “No, baby. I just wanted to tell you. Who knows, maybe you’ll join me one day,” She smiles.
“Sure. Do you know when Mel is getting back?” I ask
I want to make sure my aunt returns by the time we have to leave for New York.
“She said she would be back in two weeks.”
“That’s good. I’ll talk to you later, Mom,” I tell her, ready to head over to my room.
“Michael, wait,” Mom calls. She places her hand on my cheek. “I just wanted to tell you how proud I am about how far you’ve come. You smile a lot more these days, and I’m so glad for it.”
She’s right. Even I can’t deny how much Christine and Noah have affected me. “Thanks, Mom.”
She places a kiss on my cheek before walking away. I’ll always be proud of her, too. Her strength and courage have always inspired me. I know I couldn’t handle it if something happened to Christine or Noah. I guess my mom was able to keep going because of us, though. Children are big motivators.
Christine’s in the shower when I return to the room. She walks out fully dressed and I arch an eyebrow.
“You said you were taking a day off from the shop today,” I say, trying not to pout.
“I am,” she states, putting on her earrings and her shoes. “I just need to head over to my parents’ house.”
“Is something wrong?”
“No,” she says quickly. She walks up to me and kisses me softly. “I just want to have a quick conversation with my dad. It’s nothing you need to worry about,” she assures me.
I’m not so sure about that. But I nod and tell her that it’s fine.
When she returns, she looks much better. I can tell there’s still something bothering her, but I can’t force her to tell me. She’ll offer up the information on her own terms and I have to accept that.
“Dad, I have a question,” Noah says from his booster seat in the back of my car.
“I’m listening,” I tell him as I turn the car in the direction of our street.
“My friend took one of my pencils today and I got really mad—one of my favorite pencils. I ended up yelling at him. Then I took my pencil back and broke it, so he wouldn’t get to use it. But my teacher got mad at me and told me that it was wrong and I shouldn’t have done that. But it was my pencil. I get to choose what I do with it, right?”
“Uh…” I trail off.
Fuck, I wish Christine were here. She’s better than me at teaching moral lessons. It seems to me that Noah had a right to be upset. But at the same time, breaking the pencil was a little extreme. Parenting feels like riding a wave. You have no idea what’s going to hit you next so you have to do whatever it takes to stay afloat and in control.
“I think that, sometimes, people will do things to hurt you, and the first thing you always have to remember is not to lash out. Your friend was wrong to take your pencil, but you also shouldn’t have broken it when you were mad, understand?” I ask.
“Yes, Daddy.”
He falls quiet for the rest of the ride and I’m left to ponder my words. It’s a lesson I’m still trying to learn, myself. Lashing out is my default reaction when shit doesn’t go my way. And I have to try my best to fix that. I need to set a good example for Noah.
* * *
I’m on the bed later that night when a phone pings with a text. I think it’s mine and reach out blindly to grab the phone. It’s not mine, however, but Christine’s. She must have left it here when she went to help with dinner.
Hey, beautiful. Heard you got the job in Toronto. Congrats, Ryder really pulled up for you. Give me a call when you get this.
The text is from someone named Richard, and for a minute, I think it has to be a mistake.
Who the fuck is Richard?
But it was sent to Christine’s phone, and I’m pretty sure she mentioned working under a man named Ryder at a law firm once. She certainly never mentioned any dicks, however.
I take a deep breath before getting to my feet and going to find her. She’s having a conversation with my mom, which I quickly interrupt.