“No, it’s not. I’m not a Crane. The only reason I’m even in your life right now is because of Noah.”
His eyes narrow. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. There’s a possibility this thing we’ve got could end and—”
“Thisthing?” he asks coldly.
There’s a subtle tick in his jaw and he releases my waist before taking a step back.
“Mike, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just trying to be realistic. All relationships end at some point.”
His eyes darken. “So, you’re telling me I’m doing all in my power to make sure this works out, to make you happy, and you’re already thinking about the end of our relationship. The end of us.”
He sounds hurt, and I immediately feel bad. I’m just trying to be realistic. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. What we’re in is a very complicated, very fragile relationship. Even if Michael and I do break up, we’re going to have to figure out a way to at least be friends for the sake of our son. Is it so wrong that I considered all the options?
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” I say.
He doesn’t even look at me. I’m led to wonder how this went from me being mad at him to him being mad at me so fast.
“We should head back in there. Noah’s movie will start soon,” he states gruffly before leaving the room.
For the next hour and a half, I’m forced to contend with a movie about a troll and a princess while Michael seethes not too far away from me. I want to make things right between us.
This relationship is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me aside from the birth of Noah. I’m happy, and
I don’t want to lose this. I always wanted a love like my parents have but always ended up in meaningless relationships. With
Michael, I can have some semblance of it.
After the movie ends, we both tuck Noah into bed.
“I love you, Mama and Daddy,” he says just before drifting off to sleep.
I smile, although I actually want to cry. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone as much as I love my kid. Parental love makes my heart feel whole.
Michael and I head to my room. A part of me had been scared he would want to leave, but instead he starts taking off his shirt. I let out a breath of relief and sit on the edge of the bed as I watch him.
“Have you given any thought into sports Noah might be interested in?” Michael asks out of nowhere.
“Not really. He doesn’t seem to like to do much else apart from reading.”
“I was watching a football game the other day and he seemed interested. I tried to explain the rules of the game to him. He didn’t really get it, but I could tell he was intrigued.”
I ponder that for a moment. “Mike, football is such a dangerous sport. I could never see myself enabling our son to play.”
“Okay. I’m only telling you that he seemed interested. We’ll see how he is with other sports as well. Basketball, baseball, swimming. If he doesn’t like any then I’ll drop it, of course. He can choose himself when he’s older.”
“Swimming sounds nice,” I tell him. “I’m an awful swimmer.”
“Actually, you can’t swim at all,” Michael reminds me. “I had to save you from drowning when we went to the beach.”
I cover my face as the memory resurfaces. Not my finest moment. I actually had to get CPR from Michael. It was that bad. Then I sit up as I realize something.
“You were my first kiss,” I say out of nowhere.
Michael peers at me. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I was thirteen when the drowning incident happened. You gave me CPR. Mouth to mouth, Michael. It means you were my first kiss.”