I raise both hands to calm him down. “Christine and I slept together. Six years ago. It was after Dad’s funeral and I was in a really bad place. It was a mistake, a dumb one,” I begin placatingly.
Matt’s jaw is clenched but he says nothing. I hate that I have to refer to that night with Christine as a mistake, though. I even tell myself that, but most times, I don’t believe it. The honest truth is, it was so much more than that.
“After, we cut off all ties. Like she did with you. I never spoke to her again,” I continue. “Until your wedding, where she told me that she had given birth to Noah. I didn’t believe her at first, but I took a DNA test and it turns out she was right. I’m a father and I had no idea all this while.” I finally finish speaking.
Matthew’s still silent. He doesn’t look at me or move. He just stares off into forest. After what feels like forever, he takes a deep breath.
“Get in the car,” my brother says. He’s still not looking at me.
“What?”
He turns to face me. He’s furious.
“Would you prefer I left you on the side of the fucking road?” he questions.
Honestly, that might be preferable.
“Matt, come on. Let’s talk this out,” I say gently.
He ignores me and gets into the car. After a five-second debate, I follow suit. I can feel the anger emanating off him in waves. We drive off and I’ll admit that I admire him right now. If the roles were switched, I would definitely have left him on the side of the road. After I punched him in the face.
Matt’s a good person. He has a genuinely nice heart. Which is why him being so furious about this entire fiasco is really hard to swallow right now. He gets out of the car as soon as we drive up to the house, and I follow quietly as he stalks in and walks straight past our mom and aunt, who have similar worried expressions on their faces.
Cora looks confused as her enraged husband ignores everybody and hurries up the stairs. She looks to me and I gesture for her to go after him. She does and I’m left with Mom and Aunt Mel.
“He found out,” Mel states, accurately guessing exactly what happened.
My mom moves closer and clutches my arm. “What did he say? How did he find out?”
“We were having lunch with Noah. He walked in on us at the restaurant,” I explain with a groan. “Fuck, Mom, what am I going to do?”
“What did he say?” mom questions again.
“I don’t know… nothing. I tried to explain and then he just grew quiet. He’s mad, though, really mad.”
“Of course, he is. Probably wasn’t a good idea to sleep with his ex,” my aunt states.
I give her a look. “Not helping, Aunt Mel,” I say dryly.
She sighs, moving to sit in the living room. Mom and I follow.
“We meant to call you as soon as they arrived but your phone was turned off,” Mel states.
I turned it off because I was getting incessant calls from work. It was pissing me off. I really wish I hadn’t. Maybe if I’d had a heads up, things wouldn’t have turned out so terribly.
I’m kidding myself, though. There’s no reality where Matt doesn’t react the exact same way he just did. He would have been furious either way.
“Matthew will calm down,” my mom says, mostly to reassure herself. “He’s my sweet boy. He’ll get over this in no time.”
She’s right. He will eventually get over this. But I can’t help this feeling in my gut. I truly don’t think our relationship is going to recover.
* * *
I walk the steps toward the front door of Christine’s house. It’s 7 p.m. and I missed dinner. Noah’s probably doing his homework by now.
Everything is routine for him. He always does things the exact same way, every day like clockwork. It’s not always good to mess with his schedule.
Christine is at the door as soon as I ring the doorbell, a worried look in her eyes. Her dark hair is unkempt like she has run her hand through it over and over again.