I suck in my cheeks as my heart pounds in my chest. The memory of what happened with Michael after we slept together still haunts me. We were never really close, but we’ve definitely ruined whatever relationship we had. How could I ever tell him he got me pregnant? There are so many reasons why that’s a terrible idea.
And then there’s Matt to consider. Their family just went through something heartbreaking. I can’t just add to that. Michael’s set to inherit their family business. He has a lot on his plate. He has his life to live and I have mine. It’s not like we’re in love or anything like that. He doesn’t even like me, so why would he like this baby?
Michael has never hidden the fact that he doesn’t like kids. He has no desire to have a child.
I inhale and exhale deeply. My dad is right. I’m Christine Lawson. I’m a strong woman. I can do this on my own.
“I’m not going to tell him,” I announce. “We can’t tell anyone.”
I can see the hurt on my mom’s face, but she nods.
“How’s that going to work?” Dad asks.
“I’ll move to LA, like I was supposed to. I’ll get a job waitressing or something for now. Until I have the baby, then I’ll go back to being a lawyer. I’ll try my best to make this work.”
“I’ll come stay with you. Your dad can manage the coffee shop on his own,” my mom immediately suggests.
My heart swells. I love them so much.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Chrissy, I love you, and on some level, I understand your decision. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but I need to know that you realize the implications of what you’re about to do. That baby growing inside of you is a Crane. It’s Samantha’s grandchild. Sam’s one of your mother’s best friends, and you’re asking your mom to deceive her. You’re asking us to lie to everyone.”
My heart feels like it’s cracking into a tiny million pieces.
“I know, Dad.”
“The Cranes are rich, powerful, and influential. When they find out about this—and I can assure you, sweetheart, they will—there will be consequences.”
I shake my head stubbornly. “They just lost the head of their family. I’m not going to be the cause of even more problems for them.”
My dad nods.
“Alright then, sweetheart. Your mom and I are with you. Every step of the way.”
I left Arcola two weeks later and I never looked back. I did everything in my power to cut off all contact with the Cranes. Matthew called me so many times but eventually got the message that I didn’t want to see or talk to him anymore. I learned how to live life and survive on my own.
For the next six years, I found joy in the little boy that God blessed me with.
But I never stopped thinking, what if? What if I had given his father a chance to be part of his life? And I’ll always wonder if it was cruel of me to deny him the choice.
CHAPTER7
MICHAEL
Iwalk back to the party in a daze and I’m about to open the door to the room when someone steps outside. It’s my aunt Mel. She looks at me and frowns.
“What’s wrong? Where’s Christine? Your mother asked me to get the both of you. She wants to talk to her.”
I don’t say anything. Instead, I lean against the wall and take a deep breath.
“This can’t be happening to me,” I say more to myself than her.
Everything Christine said back there was a lie. There’s no way in hell it’s true. I keep repeating to myself that it’s bullshit. The alternative is horrible. I can’t even think about that right now.
The hand on my shoulder jolt me back to the present. My aunt is staring at me worriedly, and I look down at her pink silk dress and remember that we’re at a wedding. My brother’s wedding. I can’t believe Christine decided to pull this shit here, right now. But I need to pull myself together. It’s a happy day for my family and I have to keep it that way, despite the heaviness and impending dread that has settled in my chest.
“I’m fine,” I say to my aunt as she stares at me.