“I understand your concerns,” I tell her. “But I have full faith that I’ll prove you wrong. From the moment I lost my parents, I’ve been asked to prove my worth. I’ve had to step up and earn everything I have. Even at work, Valentina and I both started at the bottom and worked our way up. We did that once, and we can do it again. We make for a great team, and I firmly believe there’s nothing we can’t get through together.”
My words may sound confident, but deep down, I’m worried I’ll let both of them down. The last thing I want to do is make my wife suffer. The mere thought of being unable to provide for her kills me. She needs more rest, not more worries. I want to give her time to properly grieve, yet here she is, dressed for battle on my behalf. She shouldn’t be looking for jobs right now, and I don’t want her worrying about me, but what can I do? I feel like I’m failing her, but I’m so selfish that I can’t let her go.
“We’ll be fine, Mom,” Valentina says. “I promise. Don’t worry about us, okay? Luca is nothing like Dad. You see that, don’t you?”
“I do,” she admits, and that’s enough for me. It’s all I can really ask for. The rest, I’ll have to prove to her. I’m nothing like Miguel at all. There’s a lot to be said about my grandmother, but she ensured we didn’t grow up spoiled and entitled. We all had to work hard for everything we’ve got, and it’s equipped us with the necessary skills to make it anywhere.
Valentina holds my hand as we head up to her bedroom, everything around me feeling brand new. The door closes behind us, and I stare at her bed for a moment, my heart wrenching.
I want real happiness, and you’ll never be able to give me that, Luca.
That’s more true now than it was then. Did she come find me because she pitied me? Did she feel like she owed me for anything?
“Please don’t do that,” she whispers, and I glance at her, my heart aching. “Don’t look so heartbroken, Luca.”
I gently cup her face and sigh. “Now is your chance,” I murmur. “If I truly don’t make you happy, now is your chance to walk away. I have nothing to offer you, Valentina. I won’t ever hold it against you, and I can’t force you to stay. The last thing I want to do is drag you down with me.”
She shakes her head and grabs my hands. “I told you, right? I’m never letting you go again, no matter how selfish it may be. I won’t tell you that I’m not scared, or that I feel completely better, because that isn’t true. My insecurities still plague me, and I can’t guarantee I won’t say something that will upset you. When things get bad, I may continue to push you away, and I may say things I don’t mean. Will you allow me to hold on to you despite that? If I promise to work on being better, will you stay by my side?”
My heart skips a beat as I drop my forehead to hers. “Nothing you could do or say will ever make me leave you, Valentina. Youare, without a doubt, the love of my life. You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me. When I married you, it’s all versions of you I signed up for. The good, the bad, the occasional crazy. I never just wanted your very best. I want it all, baby.”
Her arms wrap around me, and she hugs me tightly. “We’re going to be fine, aren’t we?”
“Yes,” I murmur as I lean in to kiss her. “We’re going to do what we do best, Valentina. We’re going to fight. For us, and for the future we know we can have.”
Chapter Sixty-Five
Valentina
“What’s wrong?” Luca asks when I walk into my bedroom, my eyes glued to my phone. He’s seated at my desk and rises to his feet to meet me halfway. For a moment I hesitate, but then he holds out his hand for me and smiles. “Another rejection?”
“Yeah,” I admit as I entwine our fingers, discouraged. It’s been three weeks since he moved in with me, and I’ve lost count of the number of rejections I’ve gotten. Considering how qualified I am for these jobs, this should be impossible. “This reminds me of the last time I tried finding a different job,” I mutter, my eyes narrowed.
Luca smiles sheepishly and cups the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “You’ll never let me live that down, will you? I shouldn’t have blacklisted you, baby. But what was I supposed to do? You were so set on leaving me, and you know I never could’ve let that happen.”
I cross my arms and stare him down. “You’re saying sorry, but you really don’t sound very sorry at all, Luca.”
He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “I admit that this sucks, baby. Literally no one I know is returning my calls, and all my job applications result in instant rejections. Wedefinitely got blacklisted, and it’s an awful experience. In some ways, it would’ve been the perfect payback for what I did to you, huh?”
I glare at him and poke him in the stomach, annoyed. “Still not an apology.”
“I apologize for hurting you,” he tells me, his gaze sincere. “But I won’t apologize for doing everything in my power to keep you by my side. Was it a little psychotic and definitely toxic? Absolutely. Would I do it all over again?Yes, without a single doubt. How can I regret doing something that eventually led to you becoming my wife? Every single step we’ve taken in the last couple of years led us to each other. If I could go back in time, I’d still do whatever it takes to make you mine.”
“You’re incorrigible,” I tell him.
“I’m just in love with you,” he counters. “I’m irrevocably, insanely,unconditionally, in love with you.”
“How am I supposed to stay mad at you when you say things like that?”
“You aren’t, baby,” he murmurs as he pulls me closer, his arms wrapping around my waist. “But if you need a little more placating, I will selflessly offer up my body for you.”
I burst out laughing, and the sound surprises me. It’s been so long since I laughed that way. The last couple of weeks haven’t been easy, and grief still haunts me, coming in waves interspersed with self-doubt and fear. But this is what keeps me going. Luca’s patience, his love.
“Pray tell,” I murmur as a sly smile finds its way onto my lips. “How will you appease my anger?”
Luca chuckles and lifts me into his arms, eliciting a soft gasp from me. My legs wrap around his hips, and he pushes me against the wall. “Well, of course, I’d have to start with a kiss.”
His lips brush against mine, and he kisses away my smile leisurely, slowly turning me on, until he’s got me writhing against him.