She frowns at me, and I chuckle as my fingers slip between her legs. Her clit is already swollen for me, and I groan when pure desire fills her eyes as I brush over it.
Valentina arches her back for me, silently asking for more. It’s been so long since I saw her look at me that way.
“This pussy,” I murmur, “is the only one I’ll ever want.” I push two fingers into her, and her pussy clamps down on it hard. She’s so fucking tight… if I fuck her now, it’ll be like the first time I took her. She’ll struggle to take all of me, but now that I’ve got her looking at me like that, part of me wants to torment her. I want to see her eyes flash with need.
I pump my fingers into her and curl them, hitting her right where I know she’s weakest. “Luca,” she moans, and it’s fucking music to my ears. It’s been way too fucking long.
Her arms wrap around my neck, and she arches her back for me in a silent plea for more. I don’t think I’ve ever been this consumed with need before. I think I might go crazy if I don’t take her now.
My lips come crashing down on hers, and relief surges through me when she rises to her tiptoes and kisses me back.
“Fuck,” I moan against her mouth. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
Her fingers thread through my hair, and I pull away a little to look at her, needing a stronger connection. It’s crazy how deep my need for her goes. It’s more than her body I want.
“Look at me,” I order, and she obeys, her gaze filled with desire and insecurity. “I love you, Valentina Windsor.”
She looks into my eyes as I play with her pussy, teasing her, tormenting her. Not once does she look away as I push her toward an orgasm. I’ll never get enough of her.
Chapter Sixty
Valentina
Luca holds me in his arms in bed, our bare skin touching. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this way. For a few moments, he made me feel alive again.
I was so sure he’d want sex after he made me come, but he just pulled away and proceeded to comb my hair, until it was completely untangled. I’m not sure what to make of it. Even now, I can feel how hard he still is, yet all he did when we got out of the shower was blow-dry my hair and carry me to bed.
I hate how insecure I feel, how hard it is to control my thoughts, even when I’m well aware that they’re irrational. It’s like I’m caught in a downward spiral, and my own brain has turned against me, fueling every single one of my negative emotions.
If I’m not thinking about Abuela and the way I neglected and failed her, I’m thinking about Luca, and how incompatible we are. Abuela once asked me to think about what makes me happy, and to chase whatever that is… but I still don’t know what true happiness is. Is any of this even real? How long will it take for Luca to tire of me?
Now that I’m not at work, is he slowly realizing that he doesn’t need me? I’m scared to lose him, but at the same time I can’t help but push him away even further. No matter what I do, I keep feeling like he’s better off without me. I keep trying to convince myself it isn’t true, but I know he’ll leave me eventually. It’s only a matter of time. Everyone always leaves.
“Valentina,” he murmurs, pulling me closer. I look up to find him staring at me, his expression torn. Fear rushes through me, and all of a sudden, I’m certain this is it. He’s going to tell me that he’s done with me, that this is too much hard work. Or worse, that he’s found someone else.
“Let’s—” I cut him off and kiss him, not wanting to hear it. Just a little longer. For just a while longer, I want to exist in this world where Luca loves me. I don’t want the illusion to shatter just yet.
He groans and threads a hand through my hair, his grip tight. Normally, he’d already have pulled me underneath him, but tonight he just kisses me tenderly. It’s almost like he’s just indulging me, like he doesn’t want me the way he used to.
My hand slips down his chest and over his abs, and he inhales sharply when I grab his cock. “Valentina,” he says, his tone chastising.
“Ssh,” I hush him, my eyes on his as I pump up and down. He’s rock hard and throbbing in my hands. Normally, he’d already have pushed my legs apart and told me he’d go crazy if he didn’t get to fuck me right away. Tonight, he just stares at me, unmoving, his entire body tense.
I push against his chest, and he falls onto his back with a grunt. “What are you doing?” he asks, his tone uncertain. I’ve never felt this lonely before. My heart has never felt quite this empty. I wish I knew what I was doing, but I don’t. All I know is that I need something from him. I just don’t know what it is.
I sit down on my knees and lean over, my hand wrapped around the base of his cock. He moans, and for a moment, I feel wanted. My eyes never leave his as I bend over and place his cock against my lips. Luca looks tormented, yet he isn’t losing control with me.
I watch him closely as the tip of his cock slips into my mouth, my tongue twirling over every sensitive part. I suck down hard, wishing he’d just thrust into my mouth, forcing me to take it deeper. I want him to treat me the way he used to, like he could barely control his need.
Luca’s hand trembles as he reaches for me. “Baby,” he murmurs. “I’m about three seconds away from coming already. I don’t think I can take this tonight.”
Pain tears through my heart, and I take him in deeper. He’s rejecting me and using a convenient excuse. I know what Luca is like. He can go for hours if I ask him to.
My head bobs up and down on his cock, and he moans my name like it’s a prayer. “Valentina,” he groans. “Please, my love.”
His cock hits the back of my throat, and finally, his hand wraps into my hair. He grips tightly as his hips begin to move, and relief washes over me. Just as his cock begins to pulse, I pull away.
“No,” he groans, his gaze distressed.