I turn my laptop to let him read my document, and the smile melts off his face. “What’s wrong?” I ask, glancing back at the document. The companies I put on there were really well researched, and there shouldn’t be any issues with them.
“It’s nothing,” Luca says, his tone harsh all of a sudden.
My gaze roams over his face, searching. “Tell me the truth,” I murmur, my heart racing in a different way than before. Something about his expression makes me nervous in the worst way.
He looks up at me and locks his jaws. “That one,” he says, pointing to my screen. “Metric Payment Systems. It’s owned by my ex’s family.”
An unfamiliar feeling settles in my stomach, and I look away. I still remember when he told me that he’d recognized the scars of betrayal in me, and that he left the woman who caused hisscars in the past. The idea of Luca loving someone fills me with inexplicable rage.
Metric is a subsidiary of the White family’s conglomerate. They’re as prestigious as the Windsors, and no doubt, they’d make for a force to be reckoned with if they were to join hands. I bite down on my lip as I scroll through the information I compiled.
“Does it matter?” I ask, my voice soft. “You told me you left her in the past, so why does it matter that her family owns a company we want to acquire?”
He looks into my eyes, and this time, it looks like he’s the one looking for something. “She’s Metric’s CEO. If we acquire them, we’ll have to work with her directly. Is that something you’re comfortable with?”
Metric’s CEO?Jessica White?I lower my gaze, jealousy threatening to overwhelm me. Of course, Luca never would have dated someone simple. Of course, it had to be someone who’s beautiful, highly accomplished, smart, and rich. I should have known his ex would be someone I could never compare to.
“Why wouldn’t I be comfortable with it?” I ask, my voice tinged with anger. “I thought we agreed to keep our personal and professional lives separate? Acquiring them is a key component of the expansion plans you have.”
“I see,” he murmurs. “So, it won’t bother you if she tries to make a pass at me? Whenever I see her at events, she makes it clear that she wants to rekindle what we had. It’ll be no different if we work together. Are you okay with that?”
I stare at him for a moment, trying to figure out what he isn’t telling me. He wouldn’t have brought this up if he didn’t care about her at all anymore, right? “We may have agreed to be faithful to each other, but we specifically agreed that love wouldn’t factor into our marriage. It’s none of my concernwhether you still have feelings for her or not, so long as you don’t cheat on me.”
Luca closes my laptop and pushes it aside. “Is that so?” he asks as he pulls me underneath him. He holds himself up on his forearms, his body pressed against mine. There’s anger in his eyes, but there’s something more too, something I can’t quite read.
He pushes a hand through my hair and tilts my head, exposing my neck before he lowers his lips to my skin. “You won’t care if I pretend that you’re Jessica as I kiss you right here?” He presses his lips just below my ear, and I gasp.
He moves his lips lower and pushes the straps of my pajama top off my shoulder, exposing my breasts. “You don’t care what I feel or think, right?” he asks. “So you won’t mind if I think of her as my tongue flicks over your nipple, just like this.”
My hand threads through his hair, and I grip tightly as he sucks down on my breast, his touch punishing. “If I keep my eyes closed, I can just about imagine it,” he murmurs, before moving to my other breast.
“Stop,” I plead, my voice breaking. “Stop it.”
He pushes himself up and looks into my eyes. “Why?” he asks. “This is what you want, right? You want boundaries between us, and you don’t care how far you push me away, so long as you don’t have to admit to yourself that you feel this thing between us too.”
I turn away from him, but he cups my cheek and makes me face him. “Look at me,” he tells me, his voice low. “Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t feel a thing for me. Tell me I’m the only one who’s falling, the only one who wants more. Can you look into my eyes and lie to me, Valentina? Can you lie to me the way you lie to yourself?”
“Luca,” I whisper.
“You can’t, can you?”
I shake my head, my throat closing up.
“Then stop pretending like you don’t give a fuck what I do. Stop acting like you don’t care, like this truly is just business. We both know it stopped being that long ago.”
He drops his forehead to mine and inhales shakily. “Can’t you just let us be happy together?” he asks, his voice breaking. “I wasn’t the one who broke your trust, so why is it that I’m paying the price for it?”
“Luca, I…” I murmur, unsure what to say.
“I love you, Valentina Windsor.” The torment on his face is in contrast with his words, and somehow, it only makes my own heart ache more, even as it floods with that very same love. “I fucking love you, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t.”
He pushes off me and sits up, his back toward me and his face buried in his hands. “I can’t do this,” he murmurs.
I rise to my knees and stare at him for a moment, fear immobilizing me. For the first time in years, I fear losing someone more than I fear getting hurt.
I move toward him without thinking and wrap my arms around his waist from behind, my forehead pressed against his shoulder. “Then let’s stop pretending,” I whisper. “Let’s both stop pretending, Luca, because I think… I think I love you, too.”
Chapter Forty-Nine