Luca plays with my hair as he listens intently. “Then what happened?” he asks, his voice soft.
“My parents struggled for years, and I still remember their frequent arguments. I didn’t truly understand it until years later, but it turns out that he’d started seeing the woman his family initially wanted him to marry. I remember the way he’d act weird about his phone, and the way my mother would always question him. I was so young, yet somehow, I can still rememberfragments of their conversations. The shouting, the accusations, and above all else, the way it made me feel. It was hell.”
I let my eyes fall closed for a moment and take a steadying breath. “He was cheating on my mom for about a year, and eventually, he left us when I was seven. I still remember that day vividly, because he was supposed to pick me up from school and he never showed. The school had to call my mother, and when we got home together, he was gone, not a trace left of him. He’d packed all his things and disappeared.”
I inhale shakily, and Luca cups my cheek, his thumb catching the tears I hadn’t realized were falling. “When I got older, I managed to track him down. I just wanted an explanation, you know? I went to his office, but they denied me access. So I left the building and hid outside, certain there was a misunderstanding. I waited for him for hours, until eventually, a car stopped right in front of the building, moments before he walked out. A little boy jumped out of the car and into his arms, and he hugged him so tightly as he swung his son around. Then a woman joined him, and he pressed the sweetest kiss to her forehead. They made for such a beautiful picture, and I finally realized why he refused to see me.”
I squeeze my eyes closed and inhale shakily. “Years later, I found out that he ended up marrying the woman his family chose for him in return for his parents accepting him back into the family. For at least a year, my mother accused him of cheating, and in the end, she turned out to be right. He ended up falling for the woman his family wanted him to marry, and he left us for her. While he started a new life, all I really had was my grandmother. My mom was never the same after he left, and I think it was hard for her to face me.”
I pull away a little to look at him, my touch hesitant as my fingertips brush over the ends of his hair. “That’s why she’s so jaded, and why she’s so concerned about me. She thinks you’reusing me, or that I’m just a passing interest to you. My mother is convinced that eventually, you’ll leave me for someone who’s a better fit, the way my father did. She doesn’t trust rich people at all, and she’s never liked that I work for you.” I look away and try my best to ignore the dull ache in my heart. “She’s right, of course. In three years, we’ll part ways, and we’ll both lead our own lives. Eventually, you’ll find someone you’ll actually want to spend your life with, and I’ll be no more than a distant memory. The woman you’ll grow old with will likely be someone who can be an asset to you and who brings as much to the table as you do. I’m prepared for that, but my mother isn’t. She thinks it’s something she needs to protect me from, and it won’t be easy to convince her otherwise. I know I’ll break her heart in three years, but in the meantime, will you please help me ease her worries?”
He nods and cups my cheek, his touch gentle. Luca’s thumb brushes over my lip, and he sighs. “So your mother… she’s been like this all your life? This is the only version of her you’ve known since you were a child?”
I nod and look away. “I have some good memories from before my father left, but none from after that. She wasn’t around much while I was growing up. I was mostly raised by my grandmother, because Mom worked such long hours. Whenever she was home, though, she was just the way she was today. Hurt and lashing out at the world. Now that I’m older, I can see it for what it is. She’s a broken woman, and the shards of her cut everyone who comes too close. I don’t want her words to hurt you too, Luca.”
He nods, his gaze unreadable. “Don’t worry, wife,” he murmurs. “She won’t hurt me.” He pauses for a moment, his gaze roaming over my face. “When you asked me for fidelity, it seemed like you had some scars of your own. Was that strictly related to your parents?”
My eyes widen, and I look away, unable to face him. “No,” I whisper, unwilling to talk about it but unable to lie to him.
For a moment, I think he’ll demand more answers, but instead he just nods and leans in, his lips brushing over my forehead. “I hear you,” he murmurs. “I’ll be patient with your mother, and I’ll try my best to reassure her, okay?”
I smile at him in gratitude, and he gently combs a hand through my hair. The look in his eyes can’t quite be described as sympathy, and it isn’t pity either… but it’ssomething.
It’s something that makes me feel relieved I shared my story with him, when it’s a truth I’ve always hidden. Something about Luca puts me at ease, and the fact that he has that power over me is worrying.
“Valentina,” he says, his voice soft. “I apologize for what I said to you on Ares’s wedding day. Those words would have been hurtful regardless, but to hear me say that to you when it’s the exact type of thing your mother would have had to deal with, the kind of thing she would’ve warned you against… I’m really sorry. I fully understand why you were so hurt, and if I could take it back, I would.”
I shake my head, my heart heavy. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.”
“That doesn’t make it right, nor does it make it forgivable.”
I brush the back of my fingers over his cheek and smile. “Yet I forgive you nonetheless.”
“Tell me, baby. Do you worry that I’d do something like that to you? Do you think I’d leave you for someone like Natalia?”
My heart twists painfully, and I look away. “I would, if this marriage was real, but it isn’t.”
In three years, he and I will part ways, no strings attached. It should relieve me of all worries, but with each passing day, it becomes harder to envision a life without Luca.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Valentina
I check the time and sigh as I walk into the house at eleven in the evening. For days now, I’ve been avoiding Luca, working late and making sure I’m out the door before he is in the mornings. I’ve felt oddly flustered and uncomfortable ever since we slept together, but it wasn’t the sex that threw me off. It was the intimacy that followed.
Luca has been treating me the same at work, but the way he looks at me has changed. I’m scared that he thinks less of me now, or that he’ll take pity on me. I worked incredibly hard to cultivate my professional image, and I feel like I ruined it all in just one single night. Besides, I’m worried about the thinning boundaries between us.
It’s been a long time since I shared so much of myself with another, and I’m worried I revealed too much. The last time I opened up to someone that way, I ended up heartbroken.
Luca has been confusing me lately and I’m uncertain how to handle this new version of him. I thought I knew exactly who he was and what I could expect in this marriage of convenience, but nothing about it feels convenient anymore. When he asked me to marry him, he made it seem so simple. I figured I’d pretendto be his wife in front of his family, and in private, nothing would change. I couldn’t have been more wrong. With each passing day, I grow more scared to lose my heart all over again, permanently this time.
I pause on my way to the kitchen and instinctively hide at the sound of Luca’s voice. “Yeah?” he says, his voice soft. I thought he’d be in bed by now, but it looks like I was wrong.
I peek around the corner to find him standing in front of the stove, his earbuds in. He’s dressed in gray sweatpants that give him an entirely unfair advantage, and the black t-shirt he’s wearing strains around his muscles in a way that makes it impossible to look away.
“Don’t be upset,” he murmurs, his tone gentle.
I tense, a knot settling in my stomach. Who is he speaking to? I’ve never heard him take that tone with anyone but me, and he only started speaking to me so sweetly once we got married. Who is it that’s got him exposing a side of himself that he hid from me for years?