“But it still hurts, huh?”
He nods. “I didn’t expect him to respond the way he did. Ryan… I think he may be more embroiled in his mother’s schemes than I realized.”
“Mona?”
“Yeah. I suspect she’s been using him without him even realizing for much longer than I initially thought. Something just doesn’t add up.” I frown in confusion, and Silas shakes his head. “Well, never mind. Just like most things with us, this too is bittersweet.”
“Bittersweet?”
“Yes. The pain we’re causing may be bitter, but underneath it all, at the core of our relationship, sweetness is all I see.” He leans in and brushes his lips over mine, kissing me leisurely, openly. We’ve never been able to do that before. “Sweetness is all I taste,” he whispers against my lips.
I smile, unable to help myself. Yeah, we may be coated in despair, but once that washes away, sweetness is all we’re left with.
“Come on,” Si says. “Let me take you on a date. Everyone who needed to know now knows about us, so there’s nothing left for us to fear. I’m ready to publicly claim you as mine. Do you have any idea how I’ve suffered by not being able to call you mine? I want everyone to know you’re officially no longer single.”
I burst out laughing and shake my head. “I’m not the one who had women bidding thousands of dollars for a single date with me, you know? Are you going to be okay without all the women around you throwing themselves at you? Is your ego going to survive? Maybe your head will shrink to a normal size. Can you imagine?”
Silas chuckles and taps my nose. “Can’t believe this former eligible bachelor is being roasted by his girlfriend in his own damn office.”
“Bitter, is it?”
He nods, a fake pout on his face that’s far too cute. I rise to my tiptoes and smirk. “Have some sweetness then, boyfriend.” I kiss him with everything I’ve got, every ounce of restrained passion, every bit of sadness and every spark of joy. I give it all to him.
This, right here, is worth everything.
ChapterSixty-Eight
Silas
I smile to myself as I step out of the shower. Going on a proper date with Alanna was everything I was hoping it’d be. There’s something so intoxicating about holding her hand in public. I’ve never felt anything like it before.
Alanna, a good view and an excellent dinner. It was perfect. Simple, but oh so perfect. It’s strange how it’s all of these simple things that bring me the most happiness. Putting a smile on her face, treating her to things we could never afford before. It makes it all worth it.
Alanna glances at me through her dresser mirror, pausing midway through combing her hair. I’ll never tire of the way she looks at me. She’s so honest with her desire, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt more wanted. It isn’t just physical between us. This connection… When she disappeared, I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t quite what I remember it to be, that I placed her on a pedestal the way we do with lost loved ones, and I suppose I was right. It isn’t quite like in my memories. It’s better.
I lean back against the wall as her eyes roam over my body, pausing on the towel wrapped around my hip. “Baby,” I murmur, tipping my head to the fist I’m holding up. I uncurl my fingers slowly, showing her the crane in the palm of my hands.
Alanna bursts out laughing, and I grin back at her in return. Yeah, this kind of happiness is something else. It’s out of this world, and it was worth waiting for.
“You really have hidden them all over the house, haven’t you? Why do these cranes keep popping up out of nowhere?”
I shrug. I absolutely did hide them all over the house without a single ounce of shame. I’ve got several hidden in every room, ready for me to pull out whenever she’s upset. I know she gave them to me to serve as a bridge between us in the event of an argument, but I’ve found that they’re a great way to make Alanna forget all about the worries being with me have caused her.
Even today, as she smiled at me over dinner, the two of us lost in conversation, the light in her eyes would dim occasionally, her thoughts drifting, undoubtedly to the harsh words she’s been surrounded with, the ridicule she won’t tell me about. One of these paper cranes is exactly what I need to make her forget everything, even if it’s only for a few hours.
“I feel kind of upset,” I lie. “I’m still thinking about how you said you didn’t want fries as a side dish with your steak, and then you ate my fries.You. Ate. My. Fries.”
She bursts out laughing, the sound sending a ripple through my heart. Fuck. She’s so ridiculously beautiful, and seeing her sitting in our bedroom in nothing but one of my t-shirts… yeah, this is my every dream come true.
“I’m opening this,” I tell her. “This paper crane better avenge me. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight if I don’t get a reward in return for those fries.”
She watches as I unfold the origami paper, my heart skipping a beat when I read the word written on it in her handwriting. “Blowjob, huh? You really are my filthy little slut, aren’t you?”
She rises from her seat and walks toward me, her steps slow and measured, an intoxicating smile on her face. “Yes,” she tells me. “I am.”
Alanna pauses in front of me and grins wickedly before dropping to her knees in front of me. She looks up at me through her lashes and places her hands on my towel, yanking it loose with a hint of impatience. My cock is ready for her. It always is. I don’t think I could evernotwant her.
“I’m sorry,” she says, her hand wrapping around the base. “I’m sorry, babe.Sosorry for eating your fries.”