Silas leans in and kisses me tenderly before pulling away. “Goodnight, baby.”
“Night,” I murmur.
Silas chuckles and pulls me closer, until he’s got his arms wrapped around me and my head on his chest. I smile as I listen to the rhythmic beating of his heart, feeling a sense of belonging I’ve never felt before. This, right here… this is where I belong, right in his arms.
Silas’s breathing deepens as he falls asleep, and I hold on to him tightly, enjoying every second of this experience. It’s a first for us, and I have a feeling I’ll always remember it.
Silas sighs, mumbling something, and I lean in closer, curious. “I love you,” he whispers. “Ray.”
I tense in his embrace, my heart clenching painfully.Ray? I pull away from him and sit up, my stomach dropping. It’s me he’s got in his bed, but subconsciously, it’s someone else he wants. Ray… that’s the same person Ryan was talking about.
I stare at Silas, my heart breaking. I’m falling so hard and fast, but he won’t be there to break my fall. If I keep going this way, I’ll find my broken remains lying at his feet, and I have no doubt I’ll have a smile on my face as I destroy myself over him.
ChapterSixty-Three
Alanna
“Alanna!” Silas shouts, and I jump up from my seat as I rush toward his office, worried I messed something up. Now, even more so than usual, I really don’t want to let him down. I’m worried he’ll think us being together is impacting my work, and I can’t let that happen.
“Silas?” I close the door behind me and walk up to his desk, mentally running through everything I’m working on.
“Come, take a look at this.”
I nod and walk around his desk to look at his screen, frowning when I see the post-mortem of a cyber attack we circumvented. “That was close,” I recall.
Silas sighs and leans back in his chair. “I want to see how you’d go about it if you were to replicate this. I’m having a hard time finding the remaining vulnerabilities in the system.”
I nod and lean over him to reach for his keyboard, feeling oddly nervous around him in a way I never did before.
“Hey,” Silas murmurs, the tips of his fingers running down my spine soothingly. “What’s wrong?”
I look at him, caught off guard. How did he know? I shake my head and look back at the screen. “It’s nothing.” How am I supposed to tell him that I want to know aboutRay? Would he think I’m crazy if I tell him I’m worried? That I’m feeling insecure?
“Tell me the truth,” Silas orders, his tone rough.
I glance back at him and bite down on my lip. “You and I…” I shake my head, unsure how to even ask this without seeming childish.
“You and I,” he repeats, “were inevitable.”
Inevitable. That’s exactly how I felt too. I look at him with wide eyes, and he smirks as he pulls me closer. I tumble onto his lap, and Silas grins as he cups my neck, his lips finding mine. He kisses me slowly, leisurely, without any regard for time or place. The way he groans as his lips move against mine, as though he’s been dying for a taste, and I just gave him an excuse to cave… I can’t get enough of it.
A soft pleading moan escapes my lips when he pulls away, and Silas drops his forehead to mine with a smile on his face, his eyes still closed. “Does that answer the question you can’t voice, baby?”
I nod, relief rushing through me as the edges of my lips tip up into a smile.
“You’re mine, Alanna. You’ve always been mine, and you always will be. Nothing and no one will ever change that. It doesn’t matter what the world might say about us. All that matters is that we’re happy together, okay?”
I look into his eyes, wondering if he truly means that. If he’s truly happy with me, why is he proclaiming his love for Ray in his sleep while he’s holdingmein his arms? Who is she? Why does she have such a hold over him? Even Ryan seems to know about this mystery girl.
I place my knee between his legs and lean onto his chair as I wrap my arms around him, my lips brushing over his. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care who she is. She isn’t here, but I am. It might take some time, but I’ll make him forget all about her.
I kiss Silas with all I’ve got, letting his touch eradicate my every insecurity, until my mind is filled with just him. He pulls me onto his lap and deepens our kiss, his hands threading through my hair as his tongue brushes past mine. He kisses my lips the same way he kisses my pussy, every stroke turning me on just a little more, until I find myself squirming in his lap.
I tear my lips off his and move them to his neck, sucking down right below his collar. I’m feeling so restless, so needy. I can’t push down my need to mark him as mine.
Silas groans and tightens his grip on my hair, his hard cock digging into me. “Baby,” he moans.
I pull away and shake my head. “Say my name,” I plead. I need to know he’s here in this moment with me. I need to know it’s me filling his thoughts.