“Aren’t you worried about upsetting her?” I ask, unable to hide the anguish I feel. “I hear she’s the woman you always go back to, the only one you ever date exclusively.”
“You’re jealous.”
“You’re evading my question.”
Silas chuckles and pulls me flush against him, the two of us swaying to a slow romantic song. “No, Alanna,” he answers. “I’m not worried about upsetting her. You’re all I can see tonight, and every night to come.”
The tension in my shoulders fades away, and I smile up at him. Even if this is all a lie, and he’s leading me on the way Ryan did, I don’t think I’ll ever regret this. Being in his arms, having him look at me the way he does… I want this, even if it isn’t real, even if it’s only temporarily.
“Now that we’ve accomplished what we came here to do, we might as well enjoy our night. I heard the food is pretty good,” he says. “I was told that the crab cakes are nice.”
I cough, my eyes widening as nerves run down my spine, straightening my back. Oh shit.
“They’ve got crab legs too, though that sounds a bit messy. Lots of crabs tonight, huh?”
“I… um,” I stammer.
Silas chuckles and moves one of his hands to my hair, his fingers threading through my long hair until he’s cupping the back of my head, his touch possessive. “You call me crazy, but it looks like I’ve met my match.”
“I… I can explain.”
“You don’t need to,” he murmurs, leaning in. His lips brush over my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. “I love your crazy side, baby. Spread all the rumors you want, because there’s only one woman present tonight that I’ll ever be interested in. Only you, Alanna. Always you.”
He kisses my neck, and a soft moan escapes my lips. “Silas,” I whisper. “Remember where we are.”
He pulls back and grins at me. “You staked your claim, baby… now you’d better take responsibility.”
He leans in again, his lips brushing over mine once, twice, before he gives in and kisses me in the middle of the dance floor, everything fading away until he’s all I can focus on.
I can’t resist him. Even if I could, I no longer want to. I want everything he’s making me feel. Every warped emotion, every bit of heartbreak that I know will come from this. We’re a disaster in the making, but what a beautiful sight it’ll be.
ChapterFifty-Four
Alanna
I stare at the text Silas sent me in dismay. He’s working lateagain. Even though we live together, I rarely see him outside of the office. It’s only really our mornings that we spend together. We don’t even drive to work together anymore, because he doesn’t want me to be without a car after work. It’s strange, because I see him every day, but I miss him.
I miss the version of him that he only shows me. The intimate smiles, the flirting. He’s entirely different at work, and I find myself wanting to spend more alone-time with him. He’s turning me into a crazy, greedy person. I want his attention, and I want more of his kisses. I want him with a desperation that scares me, and it isn’t just physically.
I stare at the display in the elevator as it moves down to the parking lot, surprised by my own melancholy. I’ve always loved being alone, so when did I start feeling lonely without Silas?
The elevator stops on the 12thfloor, and Ryan walks in, his eyes widening when he sees me. Damn it. This is exactly why Silas told me to use the private elevator that’s reserved for our VIP clients, but I was just too worried it’d draw my colleagues’ attention.
“Alanna,” Ryan says, his tone carrying a hint of relief. “Just the person I was thinking of. Mitchel just called me asking if we’d be up for volunteering today. He said the recent rain pushed a lot of plastic to the shore, and he needs our help. I didn’t dare commit on your behalf, but are you free tonight?”
“Oh,” I murmur in surprise. That’s not exactly what I expected him to say. Ever since I ended things with Ryan, I stopped volunteering too. I didn’t want to do anything that reminded me of him, and since I’d been avoiding him, I didn’t want to go anywhere I’d run into him. I’ve really missed it. There’s nothing better for my soul than spending a few hours making an actual difference.
“He asked about you, actually. He was worried since he hasn’t seen you in a while. If you’re not busy, why don’t we go and help him out tonight? I was gonna go by myself, but since you’re off work now anyway… the more helping hands, the better.”
I study him for a moment, trying to assess if there’s more to his request, but he seems genuine. I have a hard time saying no to things in general, but saying no to charity work is near impossible. “Sure,” I end up saying. “I’m free tonight.”
He smiles at me and walks out of the elevator when we reach the garage. “I’ll see you there then. I just need to run home to get changed.”
I nod, and he rushes off, leaving me staring after him in confusion. He truly doesn’t seem to have any ulterior motives today. Have I been judging him too harshly?
I head straight to the beach, and just like Ryan said, it’s littered with plastics of all kind. Mitchel waves at me when he sees me.
“Alanna! It’s so good to see you, kid. I had to save a turtle from some plastic earlier today, and it’s got me even more eager to get this trash cleared out as soon as possible. How have you been? I was worried about you, but you seem good. You look healthy and happy.”