No more hiding.
From him.
From me.
From us.
“Why did you pursue me if you were just going to hurt me? When you knew my life had done that already? All I had was your family, Adrian, and you just ripped it away. For what? To claim my virginity?”
“You know that’s not true.”
“I don’t know anything. I didn’t know you at all.”
“You’re the only person who’s ever known me, Paige.”
It physically pained me to be standing there with him, telling him everything I never wanted him to know. More tears slid down my cheeks and I wore them like they were a shield of armor, proudly showcasing the damage he caused a decade ago.
It was still there.
The pain.
The memories.
That naive girl.
When he stepped toward me, I begged in a pleading tone, “Please don’t,” halting his descent.
“Paige, I just want to hold you.”
“You don’t get to fuck me over and then hold me and tell me you didn’t. Because I’m not telling you this for your comfort, Adrian. I’m doing this for some closure. You need to move on with your life. For the last ten years, I’ve tried really hard to move on with mine. With men who were nothing like you.”
He winced, hanging on by the same thread I was.
“I can’t do this with you again. I won’t. I barely survived my tainted love for you the first time. I refuse to allow you to use me.”
“Paige.” He wavered for a second. “I have no one to blame but myself for what happened between us. I spent years fighting the connection I had with you. You were my brother’s best friend. I knew better, but I couldn’t for the life of me continue to keep you at arm’s length. I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember. It’s always been you, Cherry. I met you first, but he got you instead. For the first time in my life, I let him have something that was supposed to be mine.”
Several tears cascaded down my face and onto the floor between us. I was downing in my agony.
“I lost you too, Paige. I lost Cade. From his respect to his admiration, to his fucking friendship. He hates me. I can see it anytime he looks at me. It doesn’t matter how many years pass us by, he despises the fact he lost you because of me. I’ve lived with that guilt for the last ten years. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t lose you again. Do you understand me? I fucking refuse.”
I shook my head. “You can’t lose something that was never yours to begin with.”
He bowed his head in shame, inhaling a deep breath as he slid his hands in the pockets of his slacks.
I shuddered seeing him this way.
It was the first time he was permitting it.
“You still don’t get it, do you? Well me let me make it easy for you, I would have given up everything for you, Adrian.” I paused again, needing a second before I shared the truth out loud for the first time. “Even Cade.”
He jerked back, barley standing.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to admit that?” I yelled, grateful we were far away from the gala. “Do you even care about what you’re putting me through? What you’ve put me through in the past? When is it enough for you? Huh?” I shoved him. “What do I need to say for you to stay away from me? I hate you, Adrian. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I fucking hate you! Do you understand me now? Are you listening? Are you finally paying attention? I want nothing do with you other than working for you. That’s it. It’s the only reason I’m still here. I’m done playing these games with you. I’m no good at them, I never was. You have years of experience in using people. And I’m not like you, thank God.”
The memories of the man I fell in love with were breaking me one by one as he stood before me, yet he was also the same man who fucking destroyed me in the end.
“No amount of gifts or excuses is going to change how I feel about you.”
In a stern voice, he stressed, “That’s where you’re wrong, Paige. You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me. I know you still love me. I feel it, I see it; you’re mine. You’ve always been mine and don’t you ever forget it.”
He reached over to wipe away my tears, to hold me in his arms, but I stepped back. Though this time, there was no way in hell I could keep him away from me.
In one swift movement, he gripped onto the back of my neck and before I realized what was happening, he was holding my fragile frame in his strong and steady arms. Kissing away the tears from my face. I stirred beneath his lips while my body quivered under his touch.