I move a hand to the hem of his T-shirt, slowly lifting the fabric. What I’m doing is like detonating a bomb. One false move and Cas could explode, taking me with him.
Language has meaning. Words can be a balm to soothe your soul or daggers launched at your heart. So as I read every jagged, healed scar on Cas’s chest, it rips my heart into tatters. Whore. Ungrateful. Idiot. Loser. Slut. Cum dump. Worthless.
Tears stream down my face and then I see it. Property of Sunshine. The only words that haven’t scabbed over and healed. The only words fresh on his pelvis with an arrow pointing to his dick.
Cas grips my neck, picking up his pace, and he lodges his cock more viciously in my mouth. “Sunshine, the only time I want to make you cry is when you’re gagging on my cock.”
His thrusts are punishing and soothing, a contradiction like the man himself. I drop the hem of his shirt and let it fall above my forehead as I grip his ass for support and lose myself in my body, being fully controlled by these men.
“Be a good girl and take every drop.” He holds my face down, my nose directly on the arrow carved into his flesh. He groans and unleashes in waves in the back of my throat.
Lorne grips my hips, his grunts sounding more like a beast than a man. He pulls me to him. “I’m going to fill this pretty cunt, Snow. I’m going to fuck you raw for the rest of our lives and drown you in cum.”
His fingers move to my clit, and he rotates the pad of his thumb. Fuck, this man knows his way around a woman’s vagina. I moan as my body once again comes for him as if on demand.
“Get over here, Lorne, Hold her shoulders,” Cas demands.
Lorne grips beneath my arms and hoists me up while Cas grips my ass, leveling it with his mouth. “Cum and blood. There’s nothing better.”
His mouth is on me as he laps with abandon. Cas devours me like he's never going to have another meal. It’s wild, untamed, and completely feral. Once again, my body is spun tight into a fevered frenzy until I come undone in waves of ecstasy.
“Fuck, Sunshine. This damn pussy.”
Lorne places me on the pew and turns to Cas. He grips his cock and points it toward him. “You’re not done yet.”
Cas winks, a devilish glint in his eyes, and falls to his knees. His hand grips Lorne's balls as his lips slide over his semi-hard, blood-stained dick.
I sit, eyes glued on two of the three men I love, and my heart aches for the third. “I want to see Declan.”
Chapter 34
Declan
The sun can heal and harm you. Get too close and get burned. Don’t get enough and you’ll fall ill from lack of vitamin D. Cas calls her Sunshine because Noelle is a warmth he’s never known.
Snow is pure. It covers the dead like a blanket for them to bloom into something beautiful. Lorne’s nickname for her because Noelle provides him with hope.
Eve, the woman Adam loved so much that he betrayed God to see her happy. I call her Eve because I fear I’ll abandon it all and burn in all eternity just to have her close.
She has an easy way about her with Cas and Lorne, but with me, it’s like a brick wall is between us. She can barely look at me, her eyes cast down, staring at the apple tart she’s taken a bite of, two of at most.
We’ve been sitting here for an hour and other than “hello” there have been no words exchanged between us.
My instincts rage at me to flip her over the table and fuck her senseless while the entire restaurant watches. But I don’t want to do more damage than I’ve already done. When I told her to run that night, I meant it, but I didn’t know the void and self-destruction it would propel within me.
I grip Lorne’s leg. He turns to me and nods before he rises from his chair and I take his place beside her. Lorne’s comforting. He knows what I need before I even ask. He’s the first person who offered me a sense of safety.
I gaze at Cas. He saved me. I’ll never be able to thank him for the five years he sacrificed in jail for protecting me. He’s what I needed because I was too weak then. I’m probably just as debilitated now. The worst part is that out of everyone, I’ve hurt him the most. Kept him at arm’s length and made him feel like the outsider looking in. Yet no matter what I’ve done to him, how I’ve shoved him away, he’s always been there. A rock I can lean on no matter what.