I take his bloody form, and I don’t know what to make of what I witnessed. These men horrify and intrigue me because what I believe to know about them isn’t the entire truth.
I’ve known about Lorne most of my life. First his father, a ruthless rival to mine. After his father’s murder, Lorne, the only child, took over the business. It wasn’t because he was qualified; I heard my father say to my mom, it was because of his name. But over the years, Lorne has made a name for himself that rivals his father, so I assumed he just was as horrific. Yet, as I gaze at his back, regarding how it rises and falls in rapid succession, I’m not sure if rumors of his brutality weren’t exaggerated.
Cas grips my chin and lifts my head. He’s gentle as he examines my neck. It’s hard to believe a man who stabbed someone as he came has the same fingers brushing like feathers along my skin. “There seems to be no permanent damage. But that fucker needs to slow his roll. He could’ve hurt her. This is twice now. I realize he’s got some fuckin’ issues, but we all do.”
Lorne nods and gets up, walking to the bathroom, his broad, sculpted back riddled with blade marks and burn scars. Dear Lord, why does he have so many burn scars? “Take her with you.”
“Lorne, you can’t be fuckin’ serious. She’ll run.”
Lorne braces his body on the doorframe, one hand on each side. “We are who we are. We can’t lie to her and expect her to stay.”
Anger flares in me. These men seem to think they can pluck me out of my existence, and I’ll do anything they want. “I’m not staying past a week, regardless.”
Lorne turns to me, his green eyes ablaze. “What do you mean?”
“I’m surprised you don’t know. It seems you notice a little too much about me. At first, I assumed it was because of your connections to my dad, but now I’m not too sure.” I shut my mouth, afraid I’ve given away too much information. My dad always told me that with guys like him, wise guys and criminals, it’s better not to offer information because something inconsequential is ammunition to men like him. But my anger is so raw that it shuts down my logical brain. “I got a scholarship to study in France. I leave in a week.”
I don’t even know why I’m angry. It’s not like it matters what these three do. It’s not like I won’t have a whole life in Paris in a week. My reactions to them and this situation aren’t rational, but nothing about these three men is.
There are quick movements on the mattress as Cas jumps up and frantically paces the room. The sharp end of the blade scrapes on his open palm. He’s intentionally cutting himself. Cas a cutter?
I take him in as his brow furrows and his shoulders tense. A slice of the knife, and his whole body relaxes. That lasts a few moments at most before he stiffens again. The faint lines of his tattoos make sense, these little dents out of place with the artwork.
“Cas, you’re cutting yourself. Your hand is covered in blood.”
He glares at me. “It calms me. I either have to do it to you or me. Which would you rather?”
I pause at his question. Which would you rather? I rise off the bed and walk to him, placing my hand on his palm as he brings the blade down. It pierces my skin and tears into my flesh. It hurts, but I will not show him that. I want him to pause, to snap out of whatever dark place he’s in that makes him need a coping mechanism like this.
Cas’ eyes meet mine. “Guess that answers the question.”
“I’d much rather you didn’t do it to yourself or me, but I don’t enjoy seeing any living thing harmed. It hurts me.”
“Fuck this shit. I’m going to take care of Declan.”
Cas storms out of the room, leaving me reeling and alone with Lorne.
Lorne clears his throat, drawing my attention away from Cas and back to him. “Edward didn’t mention that during dinner last month.”
“Why would he? Don’t you all talk about whatever criminal things you do? Why would he give you the four-one-one on his twenty-two-year-old daughter’s education plans?” My eyes take in the bedroom door. “Shouldn’t you go after him?”
Lorne chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “Nah, He’ll take whatever it is out on Declan, and they’ll both come out winning. Now, back to this trip.”
“I received an opportunity to study in Paris, and I’m taking it. It’s for six months with the option to extend for a year.”
“Guess you’ll have to be back for the wedding?”
I glare at him, confused. “What wedding? I’m not even sure if I want to fuck you all yet. Well, I guess I fucked one of you. But you see what I mean. I think marriage is a little premature.”