If this were a scene in a movie, the girl would leap out of bed and jump into the man's arms. The credits would roll, and the audience would leave on a euphoric high of love.
But this isn’t a movie. You wouldn’t find these guys in a rom-com. Something tells me they're messy, with truckloads of baggage that I’m probably not equipped to deal with. But my gut tells me to jump in feet first without a second thought.
I scoot closer to Declan and place my hands on his face. The rosary clatters to the hardwood floor.
His panicked eyes shoot to mine. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
He jumps off the bed as if I’ve lit him on fire. “I can’t.”
I pull back as if he’s slapped me in the face. My insecurities churn, and I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole. The way Lorne was talking, I assumed they all wanted me, but Declan’s reaction made it seem like I repelled him.
“Before we start, you gotta know a few things,” Cas says as he rubs the back of his neck.
“I’m not going to be one of your flings.”
Cas tilts his head and smirks. “You’re far from a fling, Sunshine.”
“Not according to Declan.”
Cas laughs. “Because he won’t kiss you? I’ve been fucking him for years, and he still hasn’t kissed me, but I tell you what.” He points to Declan. “He’d take a bullet for me and not think twice. We’ve all got baggage, and that shit left a mark. His story isn’t mine to tell, but if you stay, if you stick with us, you’ll be the queen, and we’ll be your army.”
Again, I’m taken aback at how sweet and deranged these guys are. “I don’t want to be one of those girls you all fuck and then discard.”
Cas smirks. “Sunshine, from the moment we saw you, we seem to have forgotten other girls exist. But maybe we should talk about what we’re capable of.”
Short of wanting to chop me up and throw me in the forest, I’m confident I can handle it. I know who these guys are. Lorne works with my dad, and the men who work with him aren’t necessarily good people. The Syndicate is a group of dangerous men who aren't afraid of crossing lines. “What is it?”
“We like certain things.”
“What kind of things?”
Cas digs inside the front pocket of his jeans and flips a switchblade. I don’t even process what’s happening until a crimson line forms on my skin. “That was nothing. I will hurt you. I like blood.”
“Blood, how? Like a vampire? Do you drink it?”
He nods. “Yes, and I also like to cut. The sight of it gets me going.” He gazes at Lorne and clears his throat. “You know what we do, right?”
“Yes, you work with my dad. I love my father, but I’m not stupid. I know what he’s involved in.”
“I’ve been known to fuck one of these two in the blood of someone I’ve killed.”
I’m completely turned on. Am I a sick person? Guess it makes sense why some people want sex while watching a horror movie. The same part of the brain gets switched on. “Um, you’re not going to kill me, are you?”
He laughs and winks at me. “Haven’t killed anyone during sex yet. But sex with me hurts. Sex with all of us does. We like it rough, fast, and dangerous.”
“Will you stop if I ask you to?”
“Absolutely. You’ll have a safe word and gestures when you can’t speak.”
“Why wouldn’t I be able to speak?”
Chapter 15
Lorne
Insecurity is something I’ve never experienced until this moment. I’m not worried about sex. I always knock that out of the park, but I saw how she stared at the noose. It’s not a simple thing to explain to people, and I sure as fuck don’t want her to run before we even get started. But if we want something more than one night, we have to come clean.
“You noticed the noose earlier?”
She looks up, “Yes. I thought it was some sort of emo decor.” She points to Cas’s Joy Division T-shirt. “Maybe you’re one of those weird Ian Curtis fans. The kind who takes everything a little too far?”
“It’s more like an INXS fan who shares a kink with Michael Hutchence.”
She cocks her head. “Micheal died by—” Her eyes go wide when it clicks. “Oh.”
Some people like a faint pressure on their necks while they fuck. I want to be on the brink of death as I come. “That’s not all.”
Her eyebrows furrow together. “I’m not sure how much crazier this can get.”
I wouldn’t blame her if she ran out of here like she was on fire. I wouldn’t allow her to get very far, but I would understand her motives.
“Show me.”
I flinched as if she hit me. “You can’t handle it.”