My voice is rough. “You want the fairy tale? It doesn’t exist.”
“It’s not a fairy tale. Love like that exists. My mom and dad had that.”
I feel guilty again that I’ve pretty much ruined marriage for her. I didn’t think I’d feel this enormous guilt, but I do, and I can’t seem to shake it.
“What about you? What are you looking for in a woman?”
I laugh and answer instantly. “A good time.”
She doesn’t respond except for a little hmmph.
“What?” I ask her.
“If you don’t want to tell me, just say so. But don’t expect me to believe that’s the only thing you’re looking for in a woman.”
I groan. “Fine. If I ever settled down, I’d want a woman that wouldn’t walk away.”
“Not all women leave, Lucas.”
I grunt a non-answer to her. There’s no sense in going down this road because nothing she could say would convince me.
We’re both quiet for a long time, and I begin to wonder if she’s fallen asleep until she shakily asks, “Are you going to be able to refrain from sex during this, Lucas?”
Just her saying the word in my bed a few inches away from me has me hard. Already, I need another cold shower. I try to answer her without my voice squeaking. “Yeah, sure I am.”
“Oh, I guess your trip with Austin the other day... I guess that will tide you over... I mean, it’s none of my business.”
I lift up on my elbow. “Wait, when I went out of town... What? You thought I hooked up with someone else?”
She doesn’t answer me, but if I can’t give her anything else, I can give her this. “Bella, honey, since the minute I had the idea to ask you to marry me, I haven’t even looked at another woman. I’m not interested in anyone else, and I promised you I’d be faithful. I wasn’t lying about that.”
She moves, and I catch a glimpse of her face from the moonlight shining in the window. She’s smiling, and it reminds me. “You were a beautiful bride, Bella. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
She smiles again, and I give up not touching her. I reach across the bed and grab one of her hands. I lace our fingers together, and it’s only then that I allow myself to close my eyes. “Good night, Bella.”
She whispers back softly, “Good night, Lucas.”
Isabella
“What are you doing here? You just got married. You should be somewhere... anywhere... but here.”
I laugh and walk farther into Lottie’s room. “We are putting off the honeymoon for a few weeks. I didn’t want to leave you, and it was sort of quick for Lucas to rearrange his schedule.”
G holds her hands up. “No, I’m not having it. You can’t stay here because of me. You should be living it up, enjoying each other, not staying in Whiskey Run tending to some old sick lady.”
I go and sit in the chair across from her. “Nonsense. This is where we want to be, and don’t be difficult because I have something you’re going to want to see.”
For the first time, G notices the iPad I’m holding, and she holds her hand out. “What is it? Let me see.”
I laugh and lean over so I can show her the pictures. “Here you go. The photographer sent me pictures, and Carlotta sent me videos that she took last night. Just swipe right, and you can see them all.”
Instead of looking at the pictures, I watch G’s face as she looks at each one. She swipes again, and her face lights up. “Awwww.”
I lean over to see which one she’s looking at, and it’s one of Lucas and me. Our family is all around us. There are fireworks in the sky, and I’m looking up at Lucas as if he is the only one there. Just looking at the picture makes me feel completely vulnerable.
G asks me softly, “You love him, don’t you?”
“Of course I do, G. You know I do.”
She’s shaking her head before I even finish. “No, I mean for real. Not for show or because you’re trying to make this ol’ woman happy... you really love him?”
I can’t lie to her. “Yeah, G. I love him. I shouldn’t. I know he’s going to break my heart, but yeah, this is where we’re at.”
She reaches for my hand, and her grip is so weak. “I don’t know if you know the story of when Lucas was born.”
I grimace. “Lucas never told me, but Ford mentioned it.”
She nods. “Yeah, so to him, well, women leave, and they’re not to be trusted. I know it’s deeper than that, but that’s the gist of it. His stepmom tried to help him, but when she married Oscar, she got five boys at one time. Lucas was the youngest and not in school yet, and he spent his days with me. I’m the only constant woman that’s been in his life, and I haven’t been the best example for him.”