I shake my head. I know we agreed that we’re not telling anyone that this is fake, but when Lucas said his brothers were coming over this evening, I told him that I would have to tell Carlotta the truth. I’m not worried, though, because I know she can keep a secret. Even one as good as this one.
I grab on to her forearms to try and calm her down a little. “Okay, so here’s the deal, and don’t freak out.”
Her eyes widen, and I force the words out. “It’s a fake marriage.” I lower my voice. “I mean, we’re really getting married, but not for the normal reasons and all that. We are only getting married for his granny. She’s worried about him... heck, she’s worried about both of us, and this is–”
Carlotta twists her arms and then grabs my hands. “This is crazy is what this is. I’m sorry, Issi. It’s nice he wants to do this for his granny, but I don’t want you to get hurt in all this.”
I sigh because I knew that Carlotta would take it this way. She’s my best friend and is always looking out for me. The waitress comes by, and I stop her. “Two shots of tequila and a beer. Whatever’s on draft is fine.”
She nods and walks away before I turn back to my friend.
“The tequila’s for me, right?”
I laugh. “Yes, one for you and one for your hubby. You said he was coming, right?”
She nods. “Yeah, he’s having someone drop him off so he can drive us home. So since he’s going to be designated driver, the two shots are for me, and it sounds like I may need them.”
I laugh because how could I not at this point? “Right. So I’ve already committed. I’ve said yes. He went and picked out rings today. He had someone take my measurements and is having a dress delivered later this week. Flowers have been ordered and catering arranged. I can’t back out now, and quite honestly, I don’t want to.”
“Isabella,” she says, and I know that tone. She’s worried about me. She wants to be my voice of reason when usually I’m the one doing that job for her.
“I’m fine. I’m going to be fine. I want to do this. Trust me, I’ve thought about it, and I want to do this.” I hold my hands up when she tries to argue with me. “Listen, you don’t understand. Please don’t be worried about me. I promise I’m going to be okay. You should have seen G when we told her we were getting married. I’ve never seen her so happy... so heck, Carlotta, she’s dying, and it’s happening fast. If I can make this any easier for her, make her feel like everyone is going to be okay when she goes, give her some peace, I have to do it.”
The waitress brings back the drinks and moves them from her tray to the table in front of us. I put some cash on her tray and tell her to keep the change. Carlotta takes the first shot, and as soon as she swallows it, she slams her hand on the table with a sour look on her face. “Shew, I needed that. Okay, so I hate to be the one to bring it up, but you know I’m going to. What about your feelings for Lucas?”
There’s no point in denying them. Not with Carlotta. “What about them?”
She grabs the other shot and holds it up. “You want this one?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m going to stick with the beer. I work tomorrow, and I need to keep my wits about me.”
She nods and takes the second shot. “Well, I’m off tomorrow, and I didn’t realize it before, but I do now. I obviously need this.”
I take a sip of the beer as she chases her shot with a wedge of lime. I don’t even try to change the subject because I know Carlotta, and she’s not going to drop this. She makes the face again like I’m not sure if she swallowed fire or she’s going to throw up, but she recovers quickly. “Okay, so you love the guy. You honestly think you can do this and keep your feelings in check? You think you can do this without getting hurt?”
I stare at her and try to weigh my answer before I start to speak. If anyone can see through my bullshit, it’s Carlotta, and there’s no way I can hide shit from her. Finally, I shrug my shoulders. “Probably not. Honestly, I know he’s going to hurt me because the truth is, there’s a part of me that wonders if we can make this work.”
Carlotta reaches across the table and squeezes my hand while looking at me worriedly. I lean forward and tell her, “But I know that even though I’m hoping, it’s not going to happen. Lucas Blaze”–I point at myself–“and me together doesn’t make sense. Yes, we’ll be married, and it probably won’t be long, but I can’t say no. I don’t want to.”