"We'll need to hurry—-"
"W-Why?"
"Because you have a funeral to attend to in about fifty minutes' time."
And that's how I end up coming, showering, and coming for the second time in the dressing room...before finally rushing out of the house and getting Eddie to drive like a madman so I don't show up late at the funeral of Papou's oldest enemy.
I know I should at least offer a prayer or two for Helene's soul, but my mind is still in a sinful mood. Most people might think it's beyond morbid for a girl to lose her virginity one day and attend a wake the morning after, but with a life like mine, it just feels weirdly appropriate, and it certainly doesn't stop my brain from replaying every dirty thing my husband and I have been up to in the last 24 hours.
It's basically part and parcel of Stelios' crazy-obsessive ways that you can count on him to always keep his word, and that's why when he promised we'd be having sex all around the house—-
Sex in the indoor pool? Check.
Doggie style while I hold on to one of the palm trees in the garden for balance? Check.
Me holding my legs up in the air while he gives my pussy a deliciously hard pounding at the top of the stairs? Check.
And many, many more...but of course I need to stop thinking about such filthy, filthy things, with the memorial chapel just up ahead.
Remember your resting bitch face, B!
I find Theia and Papou seated at the backmost pew when I enter the chapel, and I dip my fingers in holy water and quickly cross myself before joining them.
"You're late," the older girl says with a frown.
"And surprisingly bold," Papou remarks pointedly, and my cheeks heat up when I realize where he's looking.
"Can't you just pretend you can't see it?"
"Can't you just have come here wearing something appropriate?" my grandfather retorts.
"Blame your favorite grandson-in-law," I grouch. "The only way I could convince him to let me come alone is if I agreed to wear something that wouldn't hide you-know-what."
Theía's expression turns thoughtful. "That's very strategic of him. On one hand, it allows Stelios to keep his distance from anything related to the Familia...but on the other hand, it also effectively reminds everyone here who you belong to."
Argh.
"You're supposed to be on my side, Theía."
"Did he force it on you?"
"No, of course not—-"
"Blackmailed you?"
"Do I have to remind you he's my husband, not my enemy, so no—-"
"Then I have no quarrel with him."
"You—-"
One of the matriarchs seated in front of us suddenly turns to glare at Theía and me over her shoulder. "This is not the time to gossip!"
Papou apologizes on our behalf, and I already know what's coming as soon as she turns back around with a huff.
Thump!
My grandfather gives the back of our heads a quick little smack.
"Behave yourselves," Papou growls under his breath.
That's tough mafia love for you, and I honestly think it's a miracle my brain's still working after being disciplined in such a way for years.
The rest of the wake is uneventful, but I can't help feeling a twinge of sadness when it's finally time for Helene's casket to be lowered to its resting place. Helene may have been a thorn on our side for so many years, but her tactics have always been more wily than dirty, and that makes her one of the 'good' bad guys.
Helene's son invites everyone to drop by their home for the reception, and I'm secretly relieved but also slightly uneasy when Papou decides to skip this in favor of having lunch with Theía and me at his place.
"Are you sure we won't be ruffling any feathers by saying no?"
"Things are different now," Theía says briskly, "with Helene gone."
"In what way?"
"Alliances are not the only way to keep the peace," Papou says finally. "Sometimes, feuds are needed to maintain a balance of power."
"So you're saying...people felt safer because you and Helene hated each other?"
"The Cholevas clan is the only family with enough resources to give us trouble, if we were to show interest in taking over the Familia. And even when you and Stelios married," Theía says with a shrug, "most families were content to leave it to Helene to keep an eye on us."
"Why should that change now? It's not like Helene's family is about to run out of money all of a sudden—-"
"Money means nothing if the one in control of it is an idiot. And Helene's son?" Theía's lip curls. "Biggest idiot in the world, and that's what makes him dangerous."
Shots fired, Pt. 1
I know right away something's up when I get a text from my husband on the drive back home.
Stelios: Get to the pool house.
Me: Why? Are you thinking of drowning me?
Stelios: Yes.
Stelios: In my cum.
My fingers hover over my phone as I try to think of what to say to him back.