“It’s okay,” I whisper in her ear as I continue to caress her back.
“I wasn’t a good partner,” she says. “In all of my anger at my ex, I pushed that fact aside, but it’s the truth. I was just as responsible as he was for things falling apart.”
Relationships are complicated things, and maybe there’s some truth to what she’s saying, but she didn’t cheat on him. She didn’t leave him.
“If I couldn’t keep one man happy, what hope do I have of pleasing all four of you?” Her tone is shaky and tortured, but her expression is firm. She’s come to the root of what’s been bothering her, and though it breaks my heart that she’s feeling this way, I’m glad to finally know what’s been holding her back.
“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Darian says.
Gently, I turn her face so she’s looking at me, and the vulnerability in her eyes makes me want to surround her and never let anything hurt her ever again. “He wasn’t the right partner for you, but maybe we are.”
“Maybe you and he weren’t a good match,” Leo says, “but you’re perfect for us.”
“You can’t know that,” she protests. “You don’t know that things would be any different.”
I squeeze her shoulder, bringing her closer to me. “There’s never any way to know for sure, but you can’t go through life expecting the worst. You can’t expect failure.”
“You have to be willing to take a chance,” Dante says. “To believe in a different outcome.”
Darian’s hand cuffs her thigh and squeezes. “We’ll always be honest with you, and as long as we all communicate, we can keep things going strong.”
Lorraine looks around at all of us, and I can tell she’s taking in what we’re saying and considering things. “I realize that it’s wrong of me to make assumptions based on my one experience, but that experience makes up a large portion of my life, and it’s all I’ve known.”
“Let us show you something different,” Leo says. “Something better.”
She looks thoughtful again before saying, “I guess I have to admit that you already have. I had a lot of fun with all of you, and I’ve missed you. I tried to pretend I didn’t, but I did.”
I rub her arm. “We missed you, too.”
“So much,” Leo adds.
“Brittany said you were moping at the club.” The smallest of smiles curves Lorraine’s lips.
Dante winces. “I guess we were.”
“She likes you, you know,” Lorraine says.
“Brittany?” Leo asks.
“Yeah. She hates almost all men, but she thinks you’re good guys.”
“Sounds like you should listen to your sister,” Dante says.
“I know you’re good men. That’s never been in question.”
I brush the tip of my nose along her cheek as I breathe in her warm fragrance. “Then, what do you say? Let’s give it a try.”
“How about one more fantasy?” Lorraine says, the corners of her mouth curving higher.
My chest deflates, and I see a similar reaction from the other men. We don’t just want fantasies. We want real life with her, and much more than just a night or two.
“I have a new fantasy,” she says before we can protest. “Want to hear about it?”
Without waiting for an answer, she continues. “My new fantasy involves dating four good men, seeing them regularly, going out to dinner with them, cooking for them, just hanging out and spending time with them.”
I let out a breath and give her arm another squeeze. “Yeah?”
“It also involves committing to them,” she says, “and seeing where things can go.”
“That’s a great fantasy,” Leo says.
“Best one I’ve heard yet,” Dante adds.
“Yeah?” Lorraine’s eyes are glistening with tears again, but these are definitely happy ones.
“We’re looking forward to showing you how great that new fantasy can be,” Darian says.
“Starting right now.” Being closest to her, I pull her even closer and claim the first kiss.
Epilogue
46
Lorraine - One month later
Everything is red. Red chairs, red carpeting, red drinks on the table. Tonight, it feels right, because it’s the color of love, the new emotion I’ve been feeling but have so far been keeping to myself.
“I can hardly stand this,” Donna says. She’s one thing that isn’t red, because apparently, she’s green with envy. “Four of them. You’re dating four male strippers?” It’s the third time she’s repeated this. “Why couldn’t I be so lucky?”
“Have you forgotten that you’re married?” Brittany says, looking at me and rolling her eyes.
Donna’s eyes track a shirtless waiter who’s passing by our table. “Doesn’t mean I can’t dream.”
“The show’s starting,” Erica says as the lights go dark and the background music cuts out.
I take a sip of my drink — tonight I ordered the one called Dirty Fantasy, and it’s delicious. The last time I was here, I was feeling numb and drank too much, just to try to feel something, or to avoid feeling anything bad. Tonight, I’m filled with joy, pure and simple, and though I don’t want to flaunt my happiness in front of Donna, I’m having a hard time keeping a smile off my face.