The looks they all give me in return melt my heart even as they fill me with sad yearning, but I know I need to stick with what’s right for me. For all of us. Even if I was selfish and reckless enough to continue things with them for my own pleasure, I couldn’t tie them up with me when they’re all so young, their lives just starting out.
And I couldn’t bear to have just a piece of them. I couldn’t be a casual hookup partner for them while they date other people.
It’s best to stop things right here, four fantasies, done and delivered.
“I ate so much at dinner, but I’m starving again,” Leo says.
“There are leftovers,” I say.
“Perfect. Anyone else want some?” Leo asks.
The other guys voice their agreement. I guess they did get quite a workout giving me all of those orgasms.
I'm not hungry, but after grabbing a thin silky robe, I follow them out to the kitchen. They’re all still gloriously naked, but I’m not as comfortable hanging out like that.
They dig into the lasagna cold, refusing my offer to reheat it, and the four of them lounge around my kitchen like delicious eye candy, passing the pan around between them while I feast my eyes on their bodies and take sips of water.
I’ve been a very lucky woman to have such a decadent interlude in my otherwise boring life.
“This is a hell of a lot of fun,” Leo comments after handing the nearly-empty pan off to his brother.
“Eating lasagna naked?” I ask with a smirk.
“Well, yeah, this too, but no, I’m talking about what came between our two helpings of lasagna.” He nods his head in the direction of my bedroom. “That was good stuff, and we’re good together. I like seeing my brother and friends get you off.”
I give a small nod, not sure what to say.
“We should definitely make this a regular thing. The fantasies must continue.” He announces it like a decree.
I’m glad to hear that he’s enjoyed our time as much as I have, but he probably doesn’t realize that the level of fun we’ve been having is not sustainable. It’s not real life, and we can’t live in a fantasy world forever.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I say. The way they’ve been treating me is not how men treat women in the long term, and I’d rather end things now and keep these precious memories than mess things up by continuing to get together with them.
Leo frowns at me. “Why not?”
“You can’t tell us that you haven’t been enjoying yourself,” Dante says.
“That’s not it,” I say, wishing they had clothes on, because it would make the conversation slightly easier. “I have definitely been enjoying myself, but our arrangement was for four fantasies. Nothing more.”
“I don’t understand why you’d want to stop,” Leo says.
“Is tonight too much, with the four of us?” Darian asks. “We could date you separately. I was hoping to take you to that movie we talked about that’s opening next week.”
He actually looks rejected, and I’m both shocked and hurt that my desire to end our arrangement could cause him any pain. These men have women clamoring for them every night they’re on stage at Club Red. How could they be affected by me wanting things to stop?
“I thought this was just sex,” I say. “Just a bit of fun. Isn’t that what it was about?”
Leo closes the distance between us, his hand sliding up my arm. “Sure, it was about that, but not just that. We all really like you, and I thought that was apparent.”
“I like you too, all of you, but I just don’t think it’s a good idea for this to continue.” It takes a lot out of me to hold my ground, because a big part of me would like nothing more than to keep riding this good time until the wheels fall off, and ignore all the reasons why doing so is a bad idea. My body wants them, and if I’m being honest, my heart wants them too, but that’s a big part of the problem.
It’s not that simple to have sex and have it mean nothing but a good time, not when your partners are as charming as these men are.
But I’ve had my fill of heartbreak, and I don’t want any more.
New Reality
36
Darian
I cross the kitchen to Lorraine. “I think we should talk this over.”
She starts to say something, but stops herself and looks down at where I’ve taken her hand in mine. I give her palm a gentle squeeze to let her know that everything’s all right, no matter what.
“I don’t want to ruin tonight,” she says finally. “Everything has been perfect, and I want to keep it that way.”
“Tonight isn’t over,” Leo says, turning her toward him. “Tonight is only getting started.”