“I need a little more time,” I say.
I can’t believe what we’ve already done together, and I’m shocked at how right it all felt. I was incredibly nervous about tonight, and several times, I considered calling off this wild arrangement.
I haven’t been with anyone but Nick for nearly as long as I can remember, and it’s been a long time since Nick and I were intimate, so I was filled with all kinds of doubts, but Leo made me feel so comfortable, so quickly.
His silly porno fantasy was the perfect icebreaker, and his sense of humor has made all of this so fun, but maybe I’m getting carried away by his charm.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m just not ready.”
To his credit, Leo doesn’t push and he doesn’t even show me his disappointment, and I know he must be disappointed because I am, and I’m the one making the decision.
Still holding my legs, he leans in to kiss me, the taste of me on his lips. It’s not a long kiss, but it’s filled with promise.
“We’ll wait until you’re ready, and when you’re ready, it’s going to be amazing.”
A shiver races up my spine, and I have no doubt that he’s speaking the truth.
We end up reheating the pizza in the air fryer oven, and it’s the best damn pizza I’ve ever had. I don’t even mind that some of his pepperoni ended up on my veggie slices.
We drink more whiskey that we mix with Coke, and when we’re done eating, we relax on the sofa with the intention of watching TV, but we end up talking and never even turn it on.
I learn more about his work at Club Red and his plans for the landscaping business. He and the other men seem to have a sound business plan in place and a lot of smart ideas for expansion.
He asks about my work and how long I’ve lived on the island, but he doesn’t mention my marriage, which I appreciate. It’s strange being with another man inside this house where I lived for so long with Nick.
We also return to the subject of travel, and talk about places we’d like to go. We have a lot of dream destinations in common, though at this point in my life I don’t know when or if I’ll manage to go. I had mostly given up on these ideas after Nick repeatedly shut them down, and at least I’m lucky to live in a nice place where a lot of people come on their own vacations. I’m happy here on Four Points Island, but a change of scenery would be nice.
Leo clears his throat, pulling me from my thoughts. “Should we brainstorm fantasies?” he asks. “For your next one?”
I give him a look, as I imagine what an odd conversation that would be.
“Troy wants to go next.”
“Really. Troy? Your brother is so quiet. I never know what he’s thinking.”
Leo grins. “He probably gave up talking when I came along. I talked so much, he couldn’t get a word in.”
“You’re the younger brother?”
Leo nods.
I’m afraid to ask, but I do anyway. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-four. Troy’s twenty-six.” As I inwardly cringe, he adds, “Dante and Darian are also twenty-six. Troy’s been friends with them since middle school.”
That’s an eight-year difference from my thirty-four years. I’m ten years older than Leo, who I’ve just exchanged sexual favors with.
He doesn’t ask my age, but just in case he’s under any misconceptions, I say, “You’d have been in middle school when I got married.”
Leo shrugs, the same pleasant look on his face that seems to be his default expression.
Leaving the age topic behind as if it’s insignificant, he says, “Troy and I have an older sister, so he’s the middle child. Maybe that’s why he’s so quiet.”
The word “child” makes me cringe, but maybe I’m making too big a deal of our ages. They’re obviously men in every sense of the word. At just twenty-four, Leo rocked my world earlier tonight. My much older ex-husband never made me come so hard.
“Are you okay with Troy dating you next?”
“I’m looking forward to getting to know him,” I say.
“He’s a great guy, and he’s not really shy, but he’s introverted. Prefers to do his own thing sometimes.”
I nod, interested in Leo’s insight on his brother. It will be strange to be alone with Troy, and I hope things won’t be awkward between us. When Leo sold me on this fantasy idea, I wasn’t originally picturing that I’d be with each of the men one on one.
“Maybe I should make a plan to go out somewhere with Troy, so we’ll have more to talk about,” I say, thinking out loud.
“Make him take you somewhere nice,” Leo says. “Women love him at the club. He earns a lot of tip money.”
That’s not a surprise, though I’m guessing that women shove a lot of bills at all four of the men every night. I have vague recollections of the dancers lining up for photos after the show, but Brittany ushered me by them, even though I wanted to stop. It was probably for the best, since there’s a very good chance I might have thrown up on one of them or made a fool of myself in some other way.