“What room is she in?”
* * *
I creptalong the hallway toward Kirill’s mother’s room. I was being nosy, and I didn’t give a fuck. He wouldn’t like it, and I didn’t care about that either. I needed this. I needed to know if the man I’d given myself to had some humanity left. I needed to renew my hope that my Kirill was in there.
The door was ajar, and I could hear the deep murmur of Kirill’s voice and another, maybe the doctor’s. After a moment, a woman in a white coat stepped out. Her eyes were on a chart, and she didn’t see me lurking like a weirdo in the hall. She left the door slightly more open than before. I crept closer, my ears pricked for the slightest sound inside the room. I heard the creak of a chair as Kirill sat beside his mother.
“So, knitting is the thing now? I like it. What is it?” His deep voice was so achingly beautiful, free from the usual tension and anger he directed toward everything else in his life.
“It’s a scarf. And this . . . I don’t know. A baby bonnet, I suppose.” Fiona’s voice was scratchy and deep like a ten-pack-a-day smoker might sound.
As long as I’d known her, she’d been a hard woman. Drinking and smoking had been the only escape from her miserable life in the shittiest part of Woodhaven. She’d worked three jobs to afford a shoebox of a house and an athletic son who’d needed to eat massive quantities of food to fuel his training. His scholarship and talent in track had been their ticket out of that life, and it had all been taken that night.
“A baby bonnet? Are you trying to tell me something?” Kirill’s voice was dryly amused.
Fiona wheezed out a chuckle.“No, I wouldn’t. Your life is not for kids. Especially not sons.”
Sadness seemed to settle in the room, so thick I could feel it from the hallway.
“Mom—” Kirill started but was interrupted by Fiona coughing. She coughed for a long time, and I wondered if she needed a doctor, but then she quieted.
“How’s your father?”
“Still alive, unfortunately,” Kirill said shortly.
Fiona sighed like the world was on her shoulders. “Cockroaches are always the last to go. That man will outlive us all.” She sounded truly depressed at the idea.
“No, he won’t. I won’t allow it,” Kirill said quietly.
“Promise?” Fiona asked.
“You have my word.”
Goosebumps prickled over my skin as I stood and listened to Kirill casually promise his mother he would kill his father.
“Good. Do it sooner rather than later. You’re still young. You could still have a life. You could still find her,” Fiona said.
My goosebumps became a full-body shiver.Fiona remembered me? The words didn’t make any sense, but there was no doubting what hearing them did to my heart.
“That’s why I’m here today instead of the usual time. I’ve found her. I’ve found Molly,” Kirill said.
“Well, I’ll be. I was starting to think she was never coming back. Take good care of her, Kirill. Don’t lose her a second time.”
“I didn’t lose her the first time. She left me,” he said woodenly.
Fiona sighed, the sound rasping in her damaged throat. “You sound like your father.”
The disappointment in her tone was tough to hear. I wanted to cover Kirill’s ears and protect him from it—a ridiculous idea because he’d probably tie me up and spank me raw for listening in on his private conversation.
He started to leave, and I turned away as Fiona spoke again. “Here, take the bonnet. Maybe you’ll need it.”
I didn’t hear what Kirill answered to that insane comment as I was already streaking down the corridor toward Mara’s room. I tried my best to retrace my steps but got turned around. My head was spinning with too much information. I found myself standing at the entrance to the cafeteria.
“Next?” A server called, looking at me since I was the only person standing remotely near the checkout.
“Um, tea?” I asked uncertainly. I needed to sit and process everything I’d heard. “Oh, wait. I’m sorry, I don’t have any money. Never mind.”
“It’s okay,” the server said quickly. His name tag read “Josh,” and he looked to be in his early twenties. He smiled at me with the kind of uncomplicated ease I’d never had. “It’s only hot water and a bag, and I already made it. It’s cool. On the house.”