Anticipation roared in my veins when I thought of seeing Mallory. Last night had been oddly devastating, but tonight, I was prepared. She was hurt, angry, and ready to lash out. That was fine. I could take it. I wanted her rage and her blame. She could take it all out on me as long as she let those emotions burn out.
Max let himself out, and I went looking for Mallory. She wasn’t in the bedroom.Ourbedroom. I was done sleeping apart. She’d sleep in my arms from now on.
I continued along the hall and pushed open the door to the library. She loved this room. It was her refuge. Sure enough, I found her sitting in a window seat, staring out at the dark city.
I came into the room. The only sign she’d noticed me was a slight tensing of her shoulders. I settled myself in an armchair facing her and waited. I was perfectly content to watch, enjoying that she was here, real, and no longer in my dreams. The agony of not knowing where she’d been for the last two months was far from healed, but seeing her in her fragile state, all I could think of was how to bring her back to me. Her body might be right here, safely under my watch, but her mind? It was still out there in the world, far from me.
“Are you just going to stare?” she accused after a while.
“I enjoy looking at you.”
She stood. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”
I followed her, standing as she drew abreast of me.“Okay, let’s go.”
Her eyes flew to mine. “I didn’t mean together. I want my room back.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I can’t allow that.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because I need to be near you to keep you safe, and I’ve missed you.” I reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I think you’ve missed me, too.”
“I’d rather stab myself in the eye than sleep beside you. You’re delusional,” she accused softly, her cheeks turning a pretty pink I was familiar with nowadays. She felt called out.Good.
“Am I? So, you didn’t miss my touch, even for a second? You didn’t think about me, alone at night, cold and empty in your bed? Because I thought about you, Mallory. You’ve been my ghost, and you never left my head once.”
“Well, that’s you, not me,” she said resolutely.
I smoothed my finger down the plush apple of her cheek, enjoying the velvet of her skin. “Are you trying to lie to me, Princess? Because I always know when you’re lying.”
“Lucky you. Apparently, I have no idea when you’re lying to me,” she accused, raising her flashing emerald eyes to mine, her anger scorching the air between us.
There she was. Hello, baby.
“If you’ve something to say, Princess, say it. Don’t keep it inside. I can take it.”
“I’m sure you can. You’re so fucked up that you don’t feel guilty about the things you’ve done. Nothing bothers you, does it?”
“Lay your charges on me.” I was eager for her anger. I wanted to push her to burn through her frosty facade.
“Fine, how about your brother cutting my hand open to remove a tracker you put under my skin?”
“A simple safety measure,” I answered smoothly, half-truthfully. Yes, it was to keep Mallory safe, but it had also been to prevent her from pulling a stunt like she had the last two months and disappearing on me.
She narrowed her eyes like she could read every thought in my head, and no doubt she could. No one knew me like she did.
“And Henry? You should have told me that night.”
“I hardly knew Nikolai was about to kidnap you from under my nose, and I wouldn’t have a chance. That night, if you remember, we were otherwise occupied.” I reminded her of how we’d come so close to breaking down each other’s walls.
She flushed, her mind lingering right where I wanted it.“Fine. You deny you’re engaged, and there’s clearly no woman here, so I’ll give you that one, but the other is unforgivable.”
A pit struck my belly. There was no mistaking what she was talking about.“Is it so wrong that I want to have a child with you, Molly? I’ve wanted a family with you since the second day we met.”
“And you thought tricking me into giving you one was acceptable? Since you want it, I must, too, right?” She’d turned and pushed my chest hard to put some distance between us.
I swayed back a step and then returned, pressing my chest against hers. “No, it’s not all right. Nothing that’s happened to me in the last seven years and nothing I’ve done has been acceptable. The lines of acceptable moved so far beyond normal that I can’t see the line anymore. All I know is I want you, and I want a family with you. I want you dependent on me, needing me so much you would never stop loving me. I want a baby with your smile and my name. I want something to live for, Mallory, and I want it all with you.” My brutally honest words rang out in the quiet room.