“When are you coming back to Kadar?”
Eric shrugged. “Not sure yet. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never.”
Hugh’s body went very still. “You want to stay here for good? You didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Well, you made it clear how eager you were to get rid of me.”
Hugh’s expression became tight, almost pained. “I wouldn’t put it that way. And this snide tone doesn’t suit you.”
Eric laughed a little. “I guess you prefer me looking at you worshipfully while you push me away, right? Make up your mind, Hugh. I’m not your problem to handle. I’m neither your patient, nor your mate—nor your fucking child, no matter how many times you keep stressing how young I am. We’re nothing to each other, so stop acting like—like—like my alpha. I already have one, and that’s Anthony.”
“I don’t act like your alpha,” Hugh said without looking at him, his jaw set into a hard line. Despite his annoyance, Eric wanted to lean forward and lick it, feel the scratch of his stubble against his tongue. Gods, just imagining it made him ache between his legs, and he hated himself for being such a slut for this man.
“Are you joking?” Eric said with a laugh, looking away. “You act like you own me. At the same time you act like you can’t wait to get rid of me. Except then you go chasing after me to another country and get offended that I didn’t tell you that I was leaving. Your words don’t align with your actions, Hugh. Like, I have little to no experience with alphas, but even I can recognize mixed signals when I see them. What the hell do you want from me?”
After a long silence, Hugh said, his voice strained, “I don’t know.”
Eric blinked.
His expression grim, Hugh stared out the window. “I thought I had this handled. The instincts. The protectiveness. The overbearingness. It’s all just hormones, after all. I’m a goddamn expert on them.” His lips curled into a self-deprecating smile. “But understanding the nature of my behavior changes very little. I might be able to name every single hormone responsible for making me act this way, but it does nothing to quash those instincts. And they don’t like not knowing where you are and whether you’re okay or not. That’s why I’m here. To protect you. I don’t like how these people look at you. I couldn’t leave you unprotected.”
“I have a family alpha,” Eric said, frowning. “My brother. You knew that.”
“It doesn’t matter, Eric,” Hugh said with a grimace. “It’s all on a very primitive, instinctive level. Rationalizing doesn’t work. I understand my behavior might frustrate you—it frustrates me too. I don’t want to act like this. But I can’t control it. And it pisses me off.”
Eric’s brows knitted together, his anger fading. Hugh seemed genuinely as frustrated by his contradictory behavior as Eric was. He wasn’t being a jerk on purpose.
“All right,” Eric said. “Then we’re even: I can’t control how I behave with you, either, and you aren’t allowed to judge me for what I’m about to say.”
Hugh raised his eyebrows, his lips quirking into a smile. “That sounds ominous.”
“Kiss me. I want your mouth on me.”
Hugh stared at him. Then he glanced around, a muscle jumping in his cheek. “What if someone heard you?”
It wasn’t a no. He’d expected a firm no.
His heart beating faster, Eric stepped closer to the alpha and murmured, “They think I’m a slag anyway. Their opinion of me wouldn’t change even if I dropped to my knees right here and put my mouth on your cock.” For a wild moment, he imagined doing it: sinking to his knees right there and mouthing Hugh’s cock through his suit pants and then pulling it out and slobbering all over it, uncaring of the onlookers. Fuck, the mere thought made his crotch ache.
“I doubt it,” Hugh muttered, shaking his head. His expression was tight. “No, Eri.”
“Why not?” Eric said, pouting. He wanted a kiss, damn it. Just one little kiss.
“Because it would serve no purpose,” Hugh said, without looking at him. “It was one thing to help you out because you had trouble finding relief without assistance. This is completely different. You don’t need it. It would be just indulgence.”
And just like that, Eric was back to being pissed off. “And gods forbid I have something I want rather than something I need. Fuck you, Hugh. You can’t keep pulling me close with one arm and pushing me away with the other. It’s seriously messing with my head.” And my heart. He held Hugh’s gaze as he forced himself to say what needed to be said. “I’m done. Stay away from me.”
Hugh flinched, as if the words were a physical blow.
For a long moment, he just looked at Eric, frustration rolling off him in waves.
Finally, he gave a clipped nod and turned away. He didn’t move immediately, his back tense.