“Oh god!” I palmed my face as I dropped back onto the bed. “This can’t really be happening.”
Jourdanne shook my hand. “You don’t have to worry. First of all, we don’t even know if you are. Secondly, I will be right next to you the entire way no matter what. I hope you know that.”
“Like, in a creepy way? In the doctor’s office when he’s doing all those weird things?”
She laughed. “See? There’s my girl.”
“Fuck. Pregnant?” I muttered. I couldn’t believe the word as it left my mouth. I nearly gagged on it, but for the smallest moment, I got a tingle of excitement. Then the fear came rushing back in. “Oh, god, what am I thinking? This is crazy!”
“Not at all.” She laid down at my side, taking my hand in hers. “You’d be a great mom. Haven’t you ever thought about it?”
“I mean… we don’t even know for sure.”
“But you were with them, right?”
“Each one.” I put my arm over my eyes. “Before Hawaii, I hadn’t been on a date in months. Work was just too hectic.”
“I know. We need to get you a test to be sure.”
“A test?” That seemed too real. I sat up and the rush of fear ran through me instantly. My stomach turned and rumbled, and I reached for the water and drank it all down.
“Don’t panic.” She sat up too. Rubbing my arm, she said, “I’m right here. A test will be good. If it’s negative, then all this worry can go away.”
“And if it’s positive?”
“Then I get to be Aunt Jourdanne and spoil the baby rotten!” We shared a quick laugh, then we sat there in silence for a breath.
I ran my fingers through my hair to ease my nerves, then I stretched out my arms and got up and started pacing the room. “I don’t even want to go to the store and buy a test right now. All I want to do is bury myself in those blankets and eat more ice cream.” My stomach growled in a weird way, and so I started rubbing it to ease the rumbling. “Or maybe not ice cream.”
Jourdanne got up from the bed in a hurry. “Hang on a minute.” She left the room just as quick, and after a couple of minutes she came back in with a box in her hand. “I had a moment a month ago, don’t ask,” she said, waving me off. “But you don’t have to go to the store.”
She handed the box to me, and I read the words. “Pregnancy test.” I drew in a deep and sharp breath of air, and then I looked back over my shoulder to see the bathroom. Could I really go through with this? Was I ready to find out the truth?
“You got this. I’ll be right here the whole time.”
I gave her a nod, and then I went into the bathroom and slowly closed the door. It wasn’t hard taking the test, but as soon as I was finished I washed my hands and left the room as quick as I could. “I can’t look at it.” I threw my hands out to the sides and shook my head. Over the bed, I plopped down into those incredibly soft blankets and closed my eyes.
Jourdanne giggled. “I know this is incredibly difficult. I faced something similar, you know.”
“Well, I know now.”
“I know, I never told you. It was just a brief moment where I thought I might be, but it turns out I wasn’t. I didn’t want to trouble you over that, especially while you were in Hawaii.”
“That’s when you thought you were pregnant?” I felt like an awful friend for unloading all of my drama on her when she was dealing with her own. I opened my eyes and sat up and took her hand in mine. “I should have been there for you.”
“It’s okay. Leandro and Matt were here for me, just like they should have been. We were all a little excited, and of course, very nervous.” She giggled. “But we got through it together. I realized I’m just not ready for that yet while I focus on my school.”
“Very mature of you.”
“I’d like to think so.” She gave me a squeeze, then slipped her hand free. “Want to go take a peek?”
My eyes left her as I found the bathroom door. It was almost like it was far away and out of reach, like it would take some epic quest to get there. I turned back to Jourdanne shaking my head.
“Okay,” she said. “I can look.”
I gave her a nod. She headed over to the bathroom and slipped inside for what felt like hours. When she walked out, she had a slight grin on her face that I could tell she was trying really hard to force away. “Ready?” I drew in a breath and held it in my lungs for as long as I could. I gave her a single nod, wrapping my arms around my body to brace myself for the truth. “You’re pregnant.”