Which means: I might get to keep her.
A chorus of bugles sound in my head at that thought.
The truth is that I haven’t had that many women. The bratva cell in Moscow had prostitutes around. I gained quite a bit of experience with them in my teen years. They taught me how to pleasure a woman. Made sure I was well-versed in every variety of sexual positions, styles, and fantasies.
But I never had a woman who belonged to me. Of course, the bratva back in Russia forbade marriage or lasting relationships. No live-in girlfriends. Whores only is the rule.
It was the rule here with Ravil, too. At least until it wasn’t. Until he knocked up a lawyer and then claimed her against her will.
Lucy loves him now, of course. And he’s changed drastically now that baby Benjamin has come along. Most of the leadership in the Chicago bratva now have wives or girlfriends.
I want one, too.
I don’t know what stopped me from going out and dating an American.
Perhaps the fact that it’s too complicated to explain to an ordinary woman who I am and what I do. That the tattoos that mark my skin signify terrible sins.
That I’m wrapped up with an organization I can never leave.
The only way out is in a box, as they say.
It’s hard to believe I could coax a woman to stick around.
Perhaps that's why the fantasy of keeping Kira trapped in my apartment forever is so enticing. A woman who can't walk out. Who won't leave me. Who has no choice but to stay with a man who has no soul.
I absolutely love hearing her spill her thoughts and feelings, with no ability to filter.
The temptation to use those pills on her again and again is already there. What man doesn’t want to know everything the woman he wants is thinking? But, of course, it would be so wrong to use them to win her heart.
But is that what I actually want? To win this woman's heart? A woman I can’t even trust?
But yes. Somewhere between the sex the first night and finding her digging through my drawers downstairs, I've become muddled. I've lost all touch with right and wrong. Good and bad. Up from down. Perhaps I've been drugged too. Drugged by the scent of her skin, the touch of her silky moon-pale hair. The sound of her voice when she moans for more.
I want to give it all to her. I want to be her hero, her savior, and, yes, still her captor. Her jailor.
I want to be everything to her and have her be everything to me. I want to find her nephew and deliver him to her. Win her undying gratitude. At the same time, I want to force her to do all manner of depraved things. To be my slave. To service me. To receive my ministrations. To cry out my name every time she comes. This woman has bewitched me. This warrior has already cut out my heart. Now, all I have to do is make sure she doesn't leave with it. That shouldn't be too hard. I am the gatekeeper, after all. I am in charge of who enters and leaves this building.
And it’s already been decided: Kira will never leave.
I reach up and pinch her nipple at the same moment I roll my tongue around her clit. She bucks, her hips lifting from the bed, her inner thighs shuddering, feet flailing.
I love her like this. Helpless. Needy. Greedy. I lift her knees up toward her shoulders to roll her up and open to me. Then I swirl my tongue around her anus.
She cries out. “Oh! Gospodi! That's so wrong! But it feels so good. What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Stop… I mean don't stop.”
A better man would wait until the effects of the drug have left her system. But I am not a better man. I am her captor. And she is my prisoner. Besides, it is my job to make her fall in love. Which means I need to know everything she likes and doesn't like.
“You're going to take it back here today, little Valkyrie.”
Her anus puckers and her hips jack up from the bed. “Nyet. No. Not…why?”
“It's your punishment.”
“No, Maykl.”
“You just told me you wanted me to do whatever I wanted to you. Didn't you?”
“Yes, but…”
“You're going to take me back here little warrior. You're going to take everything I've got to give you, and then you're going to beg me for more.”
“Oh!” Her ice-blue eyes are wide, but the pupils are dilated, not contracted. And not from the drug. She's turned on.
I bring my mouth to her core, sucking on her nether lips and tracing my tongue inside them. Penetrating her with the tip. I flick it over her clit.