Whatever happens, you’re alive, and so is he,I remind myself.Even if there’s nothing else, that should be enough.
My heart is fluttering in my chest with the anticipation of seeing him as I step out of the shower, even though we’ve only been parted for less than an hour. The possibilities of whatcouldhappen push back the lingering thoughts and fears from before, and I feel slightly shaky as I get dressed in the clothes that were left for me, as Adrian promised. It’s a light blue wrap dress, something easy to adjust without having to get a precise size, and flat sandals. I quickly braid my wet hair, peering into the mirror.
Max finds you beautiful no matter what,I remind myself.Even if you don’t feel like you look your best.
It’s still miles better than when I’d stepped into the bathroom. I can hear low voices as I walk back out into the hall, and emerge into the large open space beyond to see Levin and Max talking quietly, both of them freshly showered and changed as well.
Max looks up at the sound of my footsteps, and his face lights up. It’s the only word that I can think of to describe the expression on his face, and it makes my heart lift in my chest to see him so happy at the sight of me.
It’s all going to be okay,I tell myself, letting myself hope just a little.
Natalia comes out a moment later, dressed similarly in a silky white wrap dress, and we drift out to the patio, where minutes later, Adrian appears in linen slacks and a white shirt opened two buttons down, showing a hint of dark hair on a tanned and muscled chest.
“Well, I feel spoiled for choice,” she murmurs, leaning in to whisper in my ear as Levin and Adrian sit down at the long table that’s been set with a variety of foods. “Which one should I try my luck with, do you think?”
“I think Levin’s already made it pretty clear that he’s not interested.” I raise an eyebrow, glancing at her. “Adrian’s hardly a bad choice, either.” He’s not my taste–too polished and cocky for me–but I can see how he might appeal to Natalia.
“Levin seems moredangerous, though.” She grins at me. “Maybe I’ll try once more, just to see if he needs a little more convincing. And if not–”
She lets the words trail off as she leans forward, putting shrimp and crackers and hummus on her plate from the buffet spread of food, as one of Adrian’s staff pours white wine for each of us. “As for you–” Natalia’s mouth twitches as she sits back down and leans close to me again. “Are you spending the night with Max?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, trying to keep my voice as low as I can. Max is across the table from me, on the other side of Levin, currently deep in conversation with him and Adrian. I don’t want him to hear my uncertainty–or to think that I expect anything. All I want is to spend the night with him, but I’m terrified to be the one to ask. “We left things–complicated. We talked on the plane, but–” I press my lips together, feeling my heart race all over again. “I don’t want to push him.”
Natalia nods, glancing sideways at Max. “He used to be a priest, you said? That does seem–complicated. There wasn’t time to talk about it before, but–”
“Some of it isn’t my story to tell.” I pick at my shrimp. I’m starving, but my stomach is a mess of nerves, and I’m finding it hard to eat. “But yes. He used to be a priest, and then–well, even after, he tried to keep the vows he took back then. Including celibacy.”
Natalia wrinkles her nose. “Admirable…I suppose? At least he’s faithful. But I can’t imagine that. Especially not if there was someone I really wanted. Which is how he must have felt with you. I can see the way he looks at you.”
“You can?” My voice rises a little, and I do my best to lower it again. “What do you mean?”
Natalia laughs softly. “He’s in love with you, Sasha. Desperately. I could tell the moment I found him and Levin in the hotel. He was as torn apart by the idea of anything happening to you as you were when you thought he was dead. He would have done anything to save you.” Her face softens, a hint of sadness there. “That’s a rare thing to have. You should both try to hold onto it.”
My heart twists in my chest at that. “I hope we can.”
22
SASHA
Dinner goes on for a long time. It’s clearly meant to be a casual, relaxed affair, with plenty of wine and the food laid out for us to pick at as we please, but I can’t relax. All I want to know is how the night ends.
Finally, when I feel like I’m on the verge of losing my mind, Adrian pushes his chair back from the table and raises his eyebrows at us. “Well?” he says, a small smirk on his mouth. “Where is everyone staying tonight? I’ll have my staff set up rooms for you.” He gestures to Max and me. “The two of you–?”
Max hesitates for just a moment, and my heart twists in my chest.
“I don’t want to speak for Sasha,” he says finally, carefully. “But that’s what I’d like–if she wants to.”
Adrian looks as if he’s on the verge of rolling his eyes, but it’s all I can do not to burst into tears. “Of course,” I whisper softly, frozen in place as I look at Max, who can’t seem to take his eyes off of me, either.
“I hear it can get chilly at night here,” Natalia says, leaning towards Levin with a small smile on her face. “If you want some help keeping warm, that is. We could even bring some of the wine with us.”
Levin’s mouth twitches. “I’m flattered,” he says finally. “But I think I’ll be going to bed alone.”
Adrian chuckles, standing up. “Be that as it may, miss Obelensky is far too lovely to do the same.” He holds out a hand to her. “My bed is quite large. It takes a while to warm it up–all night, even. If you’re interested in helping.”
He smiles at her, and Natalia doesn’t miss a beat. “I was going to ask you for a tour,” she says, standing up smoothly and taking his hand. “Your room can be the last one you show me, then.”
Max glances at Levin as the two of them walk away, Adrian’s hand already sliding down the small of Natalia’s back. “I’ve never seen you turn down a beautiful woman before,” he says wryly. “Turning over a new leaf?”