But Kristian just shook his head slowly.
“No, baby, I appreciate your optimism, but it’s not true,” he said. “Money makes the world go round, and we’re seeing how brutal that fact can be. I know you had your hopes pinned on me, that somehow my fortune could save your family, but now,” he said with a wry smile, “it seems that I’m a pauper too.”
“You’re not poor,” I said stubbornly, shaking my head. “Because paupers are people with nothing, and we’re not that. We’re rich in love.”
The cliché was lame but I meant it. I loved these men, these brothers, the way that they were committed to their work, Kato and Karl as soldiers of fortune, Kristian as a political force, an economic guru with expertise in everything from foreign affairs to microfinance.
“We can make it work,” I said forcefully. “Even if you lost your positions tomorrow, I still have my job at the non-profit and Kato and Karl can always find work on a boat again.”
That made the men laugh.
“Baby, there aren’t that many navy-class destroyers sailing the high seas,” said Kato gently. “We gave up our American citizenship to sign on as Legionnaires, so we can’t re-enlist at the drop of a hat. It would take some time for us to find new jobs.”
And Karl chimed in too.
“We appreciate your offer to support us, of course,” he said with a wry smile, “but honey, how much do you make from the non-profit? Thirty thousand? Thirty-five? It’s probably not even enough to pay for food for three grown men,” he said.
I colored because I actually made twenty-five. Without a college degree, I couldn’t exactly command a high starting salary, especially at the entry level.
“Well, we’ll make it work somehow,” I said slowly. “I know we can do it.”
Kristian sighed again.
“Honey, it’s not that we’re going to break up right now, go our separate ways or anything like that. It’s just … maybe it’s good we never told the world about our ménage. Because we’ve come upon some serious stumbling blocks, it was never going to be easy, but with the shit that’s hit the fan, it’s going to be about ten times harder to reveal our foursome.”
But I still wasn’t having it.
“No,” I stated firmly. “Nothing’s hit the fan. Tell me what’s changed.”
And the men looked at me, taking in my flush, my determination.
“Baby, if you haven’t noticed, I may not be prince much longer,” said Kristian gently. “And even if I were, you know I have no money.”
“I don’t care about that,” I reiterated again fervently. “I never cared about your money or the title. I would take you as is.”
The men shared a glance.
“That’s sweet baby, but not realistic. The truth is that all three of us may be out on welfare soon, picking up unemployment checks. So let’s keep our relationship on the downlow, okay? Just for a little while longer,” said Kato persuasively.
And my heart ached, not breaking precisely but the first few cracks making their way through my chest. Because I could feel our quartet disintegrating, each man trying to plan for the future, plot a path that might or might not include me. And without me? I knew they wouldn’t stay together, they’d disperse to pursue their fortunes to the four corners of the world. So even though I smiled bravely, holding back my tears, the beating in my chest was painful, tight, like my heart was physically tearing itself apart with each pound. Was this the end of our foursome? Were my men going to leave me high and dry, with nothing more than I’d started?
I couldn’t bear the thought and launched myself at Kristian, wrapping my body around his big one, peppering his face, his neck with kisses as Kato and Karl massaged my back, my bottom.
“I can’t bear it,” I gasped. “I can’t let you guys go.”
And Kato’s big hand stroked me slowly, the sensation comforting and electric at once, warm through my sweater.
“We’re not going anywhere,” he rumbled assuredly. “Like Kristian said, nothing’s changed … yet.”
And that just made me cry all the harder.
“But I don’t want anything to … to … change,” I hiccupped. “And I can feel that happening.”
Karl spoke up this time, his hand big and warm on my thigh as it crept upwards.
“Change is natural, change is good, baby,” he soothed. “It’s the human condition, and maybe we’ll all come out of it for the better, hmm?” he murmured, dropping a kiss on my shoulder.
Meanwhile, Kristian caught my face for a deep kiss, his powerful, thick tongue thrusting between my lips immediately, making me gasp, pant for more.