The sound of heavy boots reverberates in the air and invades my ears as he advances toward me. When he stops an arm’s length in front of me, I have trouble breathing.
Was silence always this unbearable, or is it only this way around the captain?
I’m not ready for when he speaks in that authoritative voice of his. It doesn’t matter that he was also close to me earlier. There’s an edge of intensity to his presence that’s impossible to get used to.
“Why are you following me, Private Lipovsky?”
“I wasn’t…”
“You weren’t what?” Something changes in his tone. Though subtle, I can feel the escalation of his usual command, and my spine jerks.
It’s not that I cower in front of figures of power. I’ve never acted or felt this way with my direct superiors. This captain, however, falls into a new category I haven’t dealt with before.
“I wasn’t,sir,” I say in a lower range than my usual ‘male’ voice and pause when he tilts his head to the side, studying me so closely, it borders on intrusive.
“Care to explain why you’re in the same space as me then?”
He’s losing his patience. I don’t have to see it on his face when I can hear it loud and clear in his voice.
If I don’t make use of this chance, this moment will just go down in his memory as a faceless encounter.
“I lied, sir.”
“You lied?” There’s a note of amusement in his voice. No, not really amusement, but something along the lines of ‘did you, now?’
“Yes. I did follow you, but only so I could ask you something, sir.”
“You’re not in a position to ask me anything.”
“I know, and I’ll understand if you turn me down, but I would rather be rejected than regret not taking this step, sir.”
“Which is?”
I meet his eyes, deliberately, for the first time since I followed him. I’m metaphorically knocked off my feet by the sheer intensity that stares back at me, and I’m almost derailed from my mission.
Almost.
However, I take my time to breathe in steady intervals and force myself to recall what’s at stake here. This isn’t only about me.
The rest of my family is at stake here.
They’re weak, hidden, and have no one to protect them except for me.
“Please train me, sir.” I speak in a clear, determined voice.
“Train you?” he repeats. Although his tone is calm, there’s something intimidating beneath the surface and that, indirectly, makes me doubt my own words.
I manage to keep my cool, though. “Yes, sir.”
“Why?”
Neither his expression nor his demeanor changes, but that might not be as good as it seems. Especially since he looks no different than a sturdy wall standing erect between me and my goal.
While his question is logical, the answer isn’t as easy to come by. I doubt he’s the type who likes ass-kissing, so if I say it’s because I think he’s strong, he’ll call bullshit. Not only have I never seen him in action, but I also don’t even know his name.
If I say because I want to be in special ops and potentially have the type of power that will help my family members, that would be no different than selling them out.
So I take a deep breath and go with the most direct route. “Because I don’t want to be a weakling, sir.”