Gloomy silence creeps through the air of the small shed as the icy merciless winter air slips in from the cracks in the walls. The strong wind blows and whistles in a violent symphony.
Four years ago, we lost our family, our social standing, and our business. We had to stay in hiding and constantly moved from one nook of Russia to the next. Two years ago, we were found by mercenaries sent by our enemies, and once they heard I was still alive, they nearly managed to kill me if it weren’t for Uncle.
Since my father was the head of the family, I’m the only heir alive. The only one who’s able to gather his contacts and rebuild our business from scratch. Uncle and Babushka said it’ll be dangerous if they learned I’m still alive, so they faked my death and I had to live as a man since. With a fake name and background.
A few months after that incident, I joined the army to find out who ordered the hit.
Uncle still has some contacts in there and he’s also trying to rebuild our network, but it’s hard when our last name is blacklisted in Russia.
“Is it true about Babushka?” I ask my uncle.
He throws up a dismissive hand. “That’s not important right now. The fact that you leveled up does.”
“Didn’t you say the higher I climb in rank, the better?”
He nods solemnly as he pushes off the wall with difficulty and squeezes my shoulder the way my father used to do to my older brother. The memory makes my stomach coil, and my breathing deepens and hardens.
“I’m proud of you, Sasha.” Uncle Albert’s voice rings in the hollowness of my rib cage. “I knew you had the spirit of a warrior.”
“I will do anything for our family.” And I mean every word. I was too young and weak to stop the previous attack that robbed us of everything.
This time, it’ll be different.
This time, I have the chance to accomplish something else.
“I know.” He pats my shoulder once more before he releases me. “Promise me you’ll be careful and not reveal your gender or identity. You’re only safe when you’re someone else, Sasha.”
I nod.
“Don’t get close to anyone who’s prone to uncovering your real gender.”
Another nod.
“I know you must feel lonely, but if you make any friends and they figure out who you actually are, none of us will be safe. I can disappear easily, but not with your grandmother and Mike. They’d slow me down and we’d eventually be in danger.”
“That won’t happen. I promise.”
The stress of the past couple of years, ever since we fell from grace, covers his features. I stop and stare at the lines in the corners of his eyes and notice that he appears to have aged a decade or more since everything went down.
Ever since I enlisted, I’ve avoided visiting in order to prevent being followed. Uncle, however, is shackled by family matters—Babushka's health and temper, Mike’s needs and livelihood, and all other measures he has to take to keep them well hidden and looked after.
I have no clue what I would’ve done without him.
Letting Mike play with the zipper of my coat, I lean in farther to whisper, “Have you found out anything about Anton?”
A sheen of sadness covers his features before he shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Sasha.”
My heart squeezes, but I force a smile. “I’m sure we’ll find him. Maybe he left the country or the continent. Or maybe he’s laying low, knowing that we’re being searched for.”
“I suggest you take the worst into account, too.”
I shake my head vehemently. “No. We didn’t find his body, which means he’s alive somewhere. I just know it.”
My brother wouldn’t abandon me. If he were dead, we would’ve found his corpse, but we didn’t. I’m sure he escaped and is biding his time for revenge like Uncle Albert and I.
Maybe he was badly injured and has to undergo medical care. Whatever the reason is, I’m sure Anton is out there. Somewhere.
He’s five years older than me, so he’s twenty-five now. Probably doing everything in his power to survive like the four of us.