He pulls me over so that I’m half lying on his lap, removes his glasses, and kisses me. No. He doesn’t only kiss me. He devours me, his tongue feasting on mine and his teeth nibbling and biting. He shows me instead of telling me that all my dark thoughts during the previous three days are null and void.
It’s not that he’s lost his desire for me or that he doesn’t want to touch me anymore.
Because it’s still there. I can feel his desperation that mirrors mine, and I can tell, without a doubt, that he probably wants me as much as I want him.
He kisses me with a fervent passion that seems foreign to him. It’s chaotic, unplanned, and doesn’t feel like he even knows what he’s doing. But it’s all him.
When his lips leave mine, I want them back.
No, I need them back, even if my mouth is too swollen and achy.
“Don’t go, Sasha,” he asks this time, softly, pleadingly even.
And I melt.
Every fiber in me breaks, willingly offering itself to this monster.
My monster.
I want to nod, to agree to his plea. I want to throw away that other part of my life and just remain here.
In his arms.
I want to keep looking at his icy eyes and fantasize about softening them one day.
But I can’t. Because this isn’t only about me. This is about my family.
With superhuman effort, I pull away from Kirill’s grasp, still dizzy from the passionate kiss, and shake my head. “I’ll be back in three days.”
His expression doesn’t change, but a muscle tightens in his jaw.
Before I change my mind and actually stay, I grab my backpack and leap out of the car.
The moment I’m in front of the entrance, I chance a look behind me to take my fill of Kirill, but he and the car are gone.
My shoulders hunch as I disappear into the airport. The flight is uncomfortable, not because of the length but due to the thoughts plaguing my mind.
I can’t stop thinking about Kirill’s expression when I refused to stay after he asked me for the third time.
Also…that kiss. It makes my head swim just thinking about it.
When I reach Russia, I change clothes in the airport bathroom so that I look different from when I left. I pull on a hoodie and hide my gun in my waistband. Then I turn my backpack inside out so it’s blue instead of dark orange.
Though Kirill was mad at me when he dropped me off, I can’t be too careful since he could’ve sent someone to follow me.
I even hide my phone in a locker at the airport since I’m sure it has some sort of a tracker on it.
It takes me more time than needed to exit the building, but I leave fully satisfied that no one is tailing me. And if they were, I already lost them.
Still, I take careful routes, hitching rides on some large utility trucks until I get to the faraway village where my family’s located.
I leave the last truck and walk about five miles in the middle of the thick snow and freezing cold, just to make sure no vehicles or people are after me.
By the time I reach the location Uncle Albert gave me, I pause. I expected it to be a village, but there’s only a warehouse.
It’s hidden by a hill, looking way too similar to the warehouse from our last mission here…
This can’t be right.