This morning, we’re at the Pakhan’s house for the weekly meeting, an occurrence that I heard Damien never gave a fuck about but has been attending religiously ever since his imaginary rivalry with Kirill started.
He came out of the meeting before everyone else, though, since he gets bored of these things, which is why he’s talking to me.
He retrieves a cigarette and stuffs it in his mouth, then lights it as he sizes me up. “Though you’re not as weak as when we first met. You training those muscles, Sasha?”
My lips part. How does he know that when I wear clothes that are a size too big?
After that two-hour nap in his car six months ago, Kirill abruptly stopped the one-on-one training sessions. But I’ve continued training every day, sometimes with Maksim and Yuri, sometimes alone.
“You’re still weak, though,” Damien continues in his one-sided monologue. “Weak getting strong, so there’s an improvement. Here’s a piece of advice.”
He gets closer, and I’m assaulted by the smell of cigarettes. “You’re a good sniper, eh? Train those arms and stick to that.”
That’s the same thing Kirill told me a long time ago. Do they really think I can’t get physically stronger? In that case, I would be happy to prove them wrong, even if it’s the last thing I do.
“Now pay me for that advice,” he says with a grin that would look charming under different circumstances.
Damien is a very attractive man with a shock of dark hair, dark brows, and piercing green-gray eyes, but the charm stops there. His personality doesn’t make up for it, and I’m apparently broken, because I keep comparing every man’s looks to Kirill's.
No one even comes close to that monster’s intense attractiveness.
“Pay you?” I echo his words.
“Yeah, I gave advice, and I expect payment.”
“I never asked for advice and, therefore, refuse to provide any type of payment.”
“Now, now.” He wraps an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t be so stiff, Sasha. That’s your problem, you know. You take everything way too seriously. Be like your boss and start being a little laid-back.”
Kirill is anything but laid-back. He’s ruthless. He’s calculative. And most importantly, he’s merciless.
I’ve seen him kill people without a second thought and order his men to do it for him because he can’t bebothered.
But because he’s methodical and gives off a playful, somewhat chill public persona, everyone, including those in the organization, think he’s easy to approach and deal with.
Which I’m sure is a tactic he’s using to bring their guard down and hit them when they least expect it. Damien and Mikhail are the only ones who fall for it readily. The others might not show it, but they’re wary of Kirill. Especially Rai, which is concerning since she’s holding a ‘secret’ over his head.
Damien brings my attention back to him when he tightens his hold on my shoulder. “I won’t ask for a lot for payment. Just forward me Kirill’s schedule for the week.”
“With all due respect, I decline.”
“Oh, come on, that won’t cost you anything.”
“I’m forbidden to reveal anything about Boss’s schedule. Besides”—I give him the side-eye—“don’t you think this is a little excessive and stalker-ish?”
Itisvery stalker-ish, but I refrain from saying that out of respect for his position.
“Blame your fucking boss. If he agreed like a normal human being, I wouldn’t have to do this.”
The door of the conference room opens, and Kirill comes out first, talking with Adrian. He casts a mere glance toward us, but it’s enough to make me breathe heavily.
I thought that with the passage of time, I’d become immune to the hold Kirill has on me. I’d learn to be less self-conscious around him, and he’d stop affecting me with a mere look, but I was miserably wrong. Not only is the effect there, but it’s also grown.
We’ve been in a sexual relationship for months,using each other, as I so stupidly said that day he fucked me in his car. I didn’t mean to, but I was hurt by how he chose to sleep on the sofa instead of the bed that first time.
Before that, I genuinely thought he stayed up all night working, but he slept just fine, just not beside me.
So I assumed we were using each other for sex, and apparently, I assumed correctly. He fucks me like a madman every day, sometimes a few times a day—in his office, in the car, or while waiting for a drug shipment. Wherever he deems fit.