I didn’t know why I couldn’t connect with other people.
I didn’t know why I couldn’t sleep in until ten in the morning most days, like a lot ofnormalpeople around. I didn’t know why I always felt like I was nothing more than a zombie walking around the world of the living and trying to hide this terrible, frightening identity from everyone else.
I just wanted to be normal.
I closed my eyes when I climbed into the shower, letting the hot water rain down on my body.
Memories of my spotty past haunt me.
Even if I didn’t remember everything that happened, the feeling of it was enough to get to me in ways that were beyond normal.
Fear of that day had followed me around since I woke up in the hospital seven years ago.
I had only been fourteen at the time.
My biggest worry then was whether I could convince my mom to let me go to the mall with my friends.
All of those things seemed so…
Innocent and simple now.
It hadn’t felt like it at the time. It felt like the biggest thing in the world, and I missed that time of my life so much.
I quickly stripped off my clothes, turned on the water for a morning shower, and got in before the water had a chance to warm up, letting it wake me up even more than I had been, and relaxing into the heat when it finally warmed.
I closed my eyes and let the water rain down on my face.
I had time before school started, and if I wanted to stay here for a while and pretend everything was okay, I could…
Couldn’t I?
The knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts, and I opened my eyes and looked toward the doorway. The curtains were in the way, and I couldn’t see much. The knock sounded again.
“Ryleigh. Hurry up! I need to use the bathroom, or I’m going to be late,” the shrill voice of Angelica Vaughn, one of the three girls I lived with, said through the door.
I let out a tired sigh and quickly did my cleaning routine.
Fifteen minutes later, I hopped out of the shower stall and looked at the fogged-up mirror.
I towel-dried and wrapped it around my body, then wiped some of the fog away from the mirror and took in my reflection.
Same tired gray eyes greeted me in the reflection.
My dark black hair fell down in a messy array on my head, the length coming down all the way to my navel, seeming to have taken all the attention away from my too-small face.
My eyes roamed down to my torso, taking in the slight dip near my collarbones from my weight loss since starting school away from home.
My childhood home was about one hour away from campus, and though I had been excited about leaving my worrisome mother and workaholic father behind, trying to find my own place in the world where I wasn’t Vivian and Judge Bennett Hudson’s daughter, there was something about being thrust into a new environment that had taken its toll on my appetite.
I stood about five foot four, had a slight frame that had only gotten more gaunt in the recent months, and pale skin.
Looking away from my reflection, I brushed my teeth and set about getting ready for my day.
Another pounding on the door, and I gritted my teeth to keep from saying anything.
I opened the door when I heard her footsteps receding. The last thing I wanted was a confrontation this early in the morning, especially with someone with such a mean attitude as Angelica.
The hallway was blessedly empty, and I returned to my room without incident.