I nod, then shove him away as I climb behind the wheel and start the engine with a low rumble. The road ahead of us is open, and it’s full of promise. We’ll let Romano think he’s won a small battle against us as we get Kane home and patched up. We’ll let Romano sink back into his ego, convinced he actually has a shot of toppling our empire.
It’ll make watching his defeat, his concession, his plea for mercy, and the look on his face when we don’t grant it that much more satisfying.
It’ll make my eternal silence feel worth it.
Chapter4
ALICE
While I understandthat these men don’t feel the same way most people are capable of feeling, it boggles my mind that they can function. James attempted to calm my nerves by fingering three orgasms out of me, but in spite of the fact that my body is exhausted and my knees are still a little shaky, I’m as jumpy as ever.
Phoenix seems to think that it has something to do with the potential threat against the house and my fear that he can’t protect me, but that’s not it. I trust him with my life, and it’s obvious that this home is his playground. This is where he’s strongest.
I’m not afraid for myself.
I’m afraid that I’m going to lose this big, important thing that I was just coming to accept. Because I might have been kidnapped and imprisoned and emotionally tortured by these men while they decided my fate, but there’s more to it. It’s more than just some psychological syndrome that made me fall for my captors.
The truth is, Iunderstandthem. I feel their fury and their resentment and their thirst for Guido Romano’s blood. I felt it before, when I was nothing more than an object in the shape of his heir to be used as he saw fit. But now—knowing what I know—it’s stronger.
I can see myself picking up a knife and using it to make him scream how sorry he is for ever underestimating me. I want to see the look on his face when he realizes that these men have given me power, not only over him but over myself.
There is freedom here—in this cage. I might be bound—by my word and my soul—to these four vicious murderers, but it’s willing. It’s more than willing.
It’s wanted.
When their phones all started buzzing with Kane’s message, I was allowed to feel a single burst of relief knowing he was alive before Phoenix told me he was letting the signal go. He found the vehicle Kane was traveling in seconds before it went dead, and he managed to get a CCTV image of a black minivan for a short while, but then it disappeared into heavy traffic.
“They know how to avoid most of the cameras,” Phoenix said, his voice dry as he instructed James on what to do next. “We don’t need his journey. We need his destination. And I think Andrea has that.”
Listening carefully, I tucked away all the information Phoenix had. Several phone calls were made to Andrea—a cousin that I met once or twice. I wish I had something—anything—to offer Phoenix about my family, but I don’t.
I feel pathetic, so after James and Ari are gone, I rise from the sofa, which feels too empty without James’ arm around me. “I’m going to take a minute.”
“Our rooms, my library, and this office,” Phoenix snaps, though I don’t think he’s angry at me. He’s got his head tipped toward the little black box on his desk, which I can see has bumps rising through little holes. Braille, I figure, and reading something from all of his tech software. “Nowhere else.”
He doesn’t even have his face pointed at me, but I can feel nearly every bit of his attention on me right then, and it makes me burn with…something I can’t quite name.
“Alice,” he says.
“Yes,” I say, realizing I haven’t answered him, and he’s not able to read the acquiescence on my face. “I just need to lie down.”
He softens only a fraction. “I can’t coddle you right now. You understand me?”
I scoff. “I’m not a child. I just…I understand how all of this works, but it’s a lot. You all need to give me time.”
“There may not be much of it,” he warns as I take a step toward the door. “You’ll need to check all this shit—every single bit of it—the moment Kane comes through that door.”
He says it with such certainty that I let my breath rush out in a sigh. If Phoenix believes Kane will come home, then so will I.
I don’t say anything else, making my way to Ari’s room because for some reason, I want to be surrounded in his scent. Maybe it’s because all of them have been there. They spend time in Ari’s bed, fucking and cuddling and lying around and playing. There’s a hint of cigarettes and cloves as I walk in and flop down.
There’s the faintest whiff of a cigar, and then Kane’s image bursts into life behind my closed lids, and my heart aches. What if he does come through the door, but it’s not on his own two feet? What if he comes through the door but there’s no beat in his heart—no breath in his lungs?
How am I supposed to deal with him making me a goddamn widow before we’re even married?
I almost laugh at how much that hurts me when he’s forced my hand into marriage. When he doesn’t even want to be married to me because he loves me. He just wants to stamp his name on mine so he can ruin Guido.
And yet…here I am, wanting it with every fiber of my body like some deranged lunatic desperate for even the slightest bit of attention. And Kane hasn’t even touched me. Not the way I want him to.