She shakes her head, but I can’t tell if that’s her answer. “I just don’t know my place, Kane. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I…I know where I stand with James, and I know where I stand with Phoenix. Ari seems to change every day, but at least he’s predictable. I’m…” She bites her lip. “I get that I’m this new, shiny toy…”
I yank her up from her chair and pull her into my lap without really thinking about it. My hand buries in her hair as I hold her against my body. I can see from the way her eyes widen I’m hurting her, but she’s not fighting me. In fact, she looks like she needs the pain, and yet again, a voice whispers about how perfect she is.
How she’s always belonged here.
“You are not some object, Alice. I don’t know the answer to your question because right now, I don’t want to think about you saying no. I have a picture in my head of what this family will look like—how I will sit on my throne and look over this kingdom with my queen by my side, Ari, Phoenix, and James flanking us, and our children at our feet. Whatever my answer is, it has nothing to do with you being athingto any of us. And I dare you right now to walk up the stairs and say that to any one of the boys.”
She scoffs, though I can see her eyes are shining brighter. “Even Ari?”
My grip tightens. “Especially Ari.”
He doesn’t love the way we do, but she’s crawled under his skin as deep as any of us have. I know that if I tried to take her away from him, he’d come for me. And it’s not because he thinks of her as some willing hole.
He’s carved a piece of himself out and given it to her—bloody and raw—and she accepted it.
That makes her anything but some object for us to play with.
She’s silent for so long, and then she meets my gaze. “Will you take me to bed after this?”
“No,” I tell her, and when she flinches, I lean in so my lips brush hers. “I will take you to bed once we speak our vows to God and all the Heavenly Hosts. Once you’re mine—properly and truly mine—then I will have you. But not before.”
“I don’t understand,” she whispers back, her lips moving in the mockery of a kiss.
“I know.” I loosen my grip and stroke my fingers through her hair, trailing them all the way down to the wavy ends. “I don’t expect you to understand. I just need you to accept it.”
She nods. “Kiss me, then. Nothing more. But if you want me to make you this promise, then kiss me.”
Something snaps. I can feel it—like a string pulled too tight. I have both of my arms around her and her body against mine, and I barely notice the fact that I’m standing and holding her as my lips devour hers. She groans and opens for me, and I taste the sweet, perfect flavor on her tongue as it dances over mine. My fingers dig into her hips, and I carry on until I feel the last wall between us start to crack.
I can’t let it. Not yet. The walls will tumble but not before I’m ready. I break the kiss slowly, soft pecks over her warm lips to make sure she knows that the last thing I want is for this to end. My back aches with how far I have to bend, but I keep my forehead pressed against her as I reach beside me and gather the ring from the table. Once the box is pressed against my palm, I lift her knuckles to my mouth and lay a warm, heated kiss there, and I feel a shudder run through her body.
“Marry me, Alice. Be my queen.”
Not my wife—my co-ruler. My goddess. My everything. Join in this little circle I’ve carefully created and cultivated full of bloody warriors that I will never, ever let go.
She nods, and without looking down, I pluck the ring from the box and slide it onto her hand. It might be a little snug, but when I finally glance at her hand, I can see the perfectly cut stone sitting against her hand, and it does something to me.
“Go to James,” I murmur, finally easing back.
Her eyes flash with hurt, though she doesn’t try to stop me from letting her go. She meets my gaze as she curls her fingers into fists, and then she folds her arms over her chest. “Promise me you won’t be alone tonight.”
I almost laugh. I’m never alone, sweet Alice. Not with these demons. But I nod all the same, knowing full well that Phoenix or Ari will join me eventually. She hesitates again and tenses like maybe she might lean in and kiss me again.
I pray to God she won’t because I don’t know if I’ll have the strength to stop her.
She breathes, then rises and turns on her heel, and I listen to the click of her shoes on the polished tile as she leaves me to my quiet agony.
Chapter13
JAMES
I don’t knowthat any of us is capable of looking anywhere but at the ring on Alice’s finger once Kane put it there. It’s like a brand—a fucking beacon that shines in the room—and I know exactly what’s going to happen when he finally puts her on display.
For now, we have a single focus: the engagement party. As much as Kane claims he wants this to be Alice’s moment to shine, I know better. It’s a challenge. It’s painting a glaring red target on her and seeing who’s going to take the bait first and step forward.
I try not to let it get to me because I know Kane thinks he’s ready, but something hasn’t been sitting right since he was taken. Communication with the family has been stilted, and maybe it’s just because they suspect something’s going on with him, but that’s not the feeling I get in my gut. And since learning to listen to it, it rarely steers me wrong.
The last thing he needs during his recovery is for me to start questioning him, though, so I just do as I’m told. I’ve gone into the city half a dozen times over the last week for various errands, and he even tortured me with cake tasting for the event.