Her socked feet shuffle over the tile floor, and James moves back to give her space as I take her face between my hands and run my thumbs over her warm cheeks. She feels real—alive and worth every single second I felt the agony of my capture.
I don’t tell her this, of course. I should, but something in me freezes up before I can get any words out. My hands drop when my arms start to ache, and she looks a little startled as she takes a step back. Her gaze darts to James, and he shoots her a look that tells me they’ve discussed me already.
“Is there something you need?” I ask.
She blinks, hurt. I hate myself a little for it, but it’s going to take me some time to recalibrate myself and this new weakness because I have so many already. Guido knows, of course. His hatred of me because I brought out deep, dark desires that went against every sacred oath he’d ever taken knows no measure.
But him knowing what I plan to do with his chess piece?
I can only imagine what he’s planning right now, and I need to be very, very careful about how I handle this whole thing.
“Phoenix says you need to eat something,” she finally says.
I scoff. “He can come here and tell me himself.”
James bites his lip ring again before blowing out a sigh. “He needs a bit of time.”
It hurts. I can’t deny that. I understand entirely why he’d need more time to deal with how injured I am and the fact that I was taken in the first place.
We live in a world where death comes early and stays late, and everything hurts.
It doesn’t stop us from loving, of course. And it doesn’t remove our ability to hope.
But we’re comfortable in mourning, even before our lives are over.
“I’d like a moment with Alice,” I finally say. Something in my little IV machine clicks, and I start to feel a little warm. The drug drip—whatever the doctor has me on—must go by morning, just like this fucking epidural. I can handle the pain.
I’m not afraid to feel.
I’m afraid of lying here helpless.
James gives me a long look, then leans down and takes another kiss—slow and full of purpose and a low-simmering relief. I let him hold my lips as long as he needs to, and then he pulls back and drops one on the side of Alice’s head before leaving.
She stands there until the door shuts, and when I offer my hand, she takes it. My fingers are raw and scabbed at the nails, and there are wounds that will leave small, thin scars. I can see her staring down at me, her brows furrowed like she’s working through a complicated problem.
Maybe she’s about to look up at me and tell me she’s changed her mind.
“My cousin called me when the guys were out, um…trying to find you,” she says like she’s not quite sure what to call the recovery mission.
I frown, trying to think through my drug haze. “Which cousin?”
“Leo.”
The younger. I’ve kept a casual eye on him because while his brother Marco is being groomed to take over, Leo’s exactly the man someone like Romano would overlook like the fool he is.
“Did he offer to rescue you?”
Her lips twitch, and her fingers tighten on mine. “Yes. How did you know?”
“Because that’s what I would have done. Did you consider it?”
She meets my gaze, and I see fire in her eyes as she says, “Yes.”
Ah. My precious, precious goddess. I wouldn’t even be interested in having her rule at my side if she’d given me any other answer. “And here you are. Unless you’re getting me alone for another ambush.”
She snorts and rolls her eyes. Her posture seems casual, but there’s a tension in her, like she’s waiting for something, but I’m too far gone to know what it is. At my continued silence, she sighs and takes her hand back, sinking into the chair.
“What is it, Alice?” I press.