“Good afternoon, love,” James says very quietly.
He almost never calls me that. That little name is reserved for the others when he’s trying to be cute, so I must be in bad shape.
“Will I live?”
His eyes narrow. “That’s not bloody funny.”
I grin in spite of the fact that it feels like fire is shooting through my limbs, and I attempt to flex my fingers again. They work, but they’re shaking and feel weak. “Where’s the doctor?”
“Left a few hours ago. He’ll be back in the morning to do another round of antibiotics and go over…” James chokes on the word as he glances down at the space in the bed where my leg isn’t. I can’t feel it, but the drugs make it hard to care.
“James. You’ve lost an arm. Surely this doesn’t bother you.”
His eyes cut to mine, and they’re a little wild. “I know what it feels like.”
My heart cracks a little, and in spite of the pain, my hand darts out and curls into his shirt, tugging him close. He comes easily, dropping into a chair that likely hasn’t left my bedside since they brought me home.
He leans over the low railing and lets me card my fingers through his tangled curls.
“I’m alive. All of us know that’s what matters,” I remind him. It’s what I told him as he was recovering from both losing his arm and then from the punishment I gave him after his misstep with Phoenix. My thumb strokes the back of his neck, then lower between his shoulder blades.
I trace a thick scar—a gift from his piece-of-shit, long-dead sperm donor, who only ever wanted to use him.
“I’m not afraid of pain,” I go on. “I have no doubt I’ll come back from this much quicker than that little fucker thinks I will.”
James says nothing. He just relaxes and allows me to pet him until my arm loses strength, and I’m forced to sit back and drop my hands at my sides. When he notices, he sits up and takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb against the tendon in my wrist.
“Carson says your arms will heal. They’re just weak from the way they dislocated your shoulders. He says whatever the fuck they did to your leg was like meat from a butcher on meth, though,” he adds with a scowl.
I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head. “I got shot. Repeatedly. I was unconscious when they took the leg off.” In truth, losing my leg probably saved my life, even if it was a total hack job. But there’s nothing wrong with a few outside scars. They pale in comparison to the ones I hold inside. “I’m not afraid,” I repeat.
He looks up at me, then lets out a long sigh. “Are you up for seeing her?”
I don’t have to ask who he’s talking about. Obviously, there’s only oneherin this home that would ask for me, and there’s only one person outside of my misfits that I’d allow to see me in this state. I feel weak from the blood loss and vulnerable from the drugs. And when I try to wriggle the toes I have left, my leg is still unresponsive.
I dislodge my hand from his and lift the sheets, scowling at my naked dick looking red and a little puffy from the catheter. “Am I paralyzed?” I don’t remember that happening. Hell, I remember the pain when Ari hauled me into the Jeep, but I suppose anything’s possible.
James shakes his head. “The doctor gave you something in your back to numb the pain while your leg heals.”
I would have survived that too, but knowing I’m not allows me to breathe a little easier. I find a bit more strength in my hand to reach out, tracing James’ jaw. “Kiss me, precious.”
He does. He surges in and takes the kiss like he needs it to breathe. His tongue slides along mine, the barbell clinking over my teeth, and I let him carry on in spite of my exhaustion. When he pulls back, he looks a bit more settled, and his cocky grin plays at the corners of his lips.
“There he is,” I tease.
He flips me off, and the silver ring I gave him several years ago glints in the low light.
“Have you been taking care of our girl?” I ask him after a beat of settled silence.
James nods, looking solemn. “Yes, but…” He hesitates, pulling his lip ring between his teeth before looking away. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea to carry on with the plan.”
I sit up a little straighter. “I knew what I was getting into, James. I will not have any of you argue with me on—”
“Are you two seriously arguing right now?”
My jaw snaps shut. Alice walks into the room with her hair down, wavy from her usual braid, wrapped up in a sweater I know belongs to Phoenix. Her bare legs are showing, and although I have zero feeling below the waist, something warm rises in me.
“Come here,” I command without really thinking about it.