“How long was Tom Hanks on that island in Castaway?” I ask.
We’re all on the beach, sitting around the small, crackling fire. The sun set just a few minutes ago, a beautiful golden show, and it’s still light enough to see, with the first stars starting to appear above.
“He was stuck there four years,” Lacey says. “God, I hope that’s not our fate.”
“It’s not,” Tai tells her sternly. “Tomorrow I’ll set out to explore. For all we know, there’s a resort on the other side of the island.”
“Can you imagine?” I sigh happily, hugging my knees to my chest. “Like, a Four Seasons or something? They’d have Egyptian cotton sheets, and turn-down service, and those little bungalows over the water.”
“That’s not too different from this,” Richard says.
“Uh huh,” I tell him. “We just ate beans out of a can, like a bunch of hobos. The only reason we have something even remotely nice to sleep on is because Tai went back to the boat and managed to get two sleeping bags. For the four of us. We don’t even have pillows.”
“Or toilet paper,” Richard says.
“Just use leaves,” Tai mutters. Then he adjusts himself and winces.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He clamps his mouth shut and nods. “I’m…fine.”
I frown and then exchange a look with the other two. They shrug.
“You know the first thing I would do if there turned out to be a resort?” Lacey asks.
“Complain to the manager?” I quip.
She rolls her eyes. “No.” Then she smiles. “I would order the biggest, juiciest cheeseburger they had with loads of fries. McDonald’s fries. And then I’d wash it down with an ice-cold glass of white wine. Oh, maybe a pina colada.”
She’s practically drooling.
“You’d think you were stranded here for weeks, not twelve hours,” Tai says, wincing again.
“Uh, we’ve been at sea for ten days,” I point out. “That’s a long time to be away from civilization. Though I wouldn’t go for a cheeseburger. I would get a big greasy bucket of fried chicken and a beer.”
“That’s the ticket,” Richard muses. He’s still wearing his broken glasses and looks off into the distance happily, obviously day-dreaming. “Make it a six-pack.”
Too bad no one had thought to pack alcohol as an essential item, although we had pretty much run through the supply already. I did have my bottle of vodka I won in poker, and a couple of bottles of New Zealand wine in my suitcase, but I didn’t think to take them.
“Anyway, I don’t think this is the island from Castaway,” Richard says. “More like Gilligan’s Island. Hey Tai? You’re Gilligan and I’m the Skipper.”
Tai gives him a wary look. “Excuse me?”
“Well, Daisy is obviously Ginger,” Lacey says. “She’s got the boobs and the hair and the attitude. I’ll be the Professor.”
“You’re Mary-Anne,” Richard protests.
“Mary-Anne isn’t a blond, and anyway, how sexist do you have to be to assume that I can’t be the professor just because I’m a woman? I am a professor, Richard.”
“So am I.”
“And you’re definitely not the Skipper,” Tai says, adjusting his seating again.
“So then who am I?” Richard asks woefully. “The professor’s wife?”
“You’re Gilligan,” Lacey tells him.
He seems more offended than he should be. “I am not Gilligan. Gilligan is the hapless imbecile that keeps screwing everything up.” He jerks his chin at me. “Daisy is Gilligan.”
I gasp. “I am not! I’m Ginger! One hundred percent.”
“Well, this whole thing is your fault,” Tai says under his breath.
No. No. He. Didn’t.
I give him the sharpest daggers I can muster with my eyes, hoping they’ll burn holes right into his sexy head. “I said I was sorry a million times. What do you want me to do? Get on my knees and beg for forgiveness?”
He tilts his head thoughtfully, trying to weigh that option.
Jerk.
“Okay, so maybe it’s not Gilligan’s Island,” Lacey says quickly, trying to calm the volcano that’s about to go off inside of me. She knows that look I get. I’m already Tomato Zone 2.
“It’s the island from Lost,” Richard interjects. “No, better yet, The Blue Lagoon.”
“Ew,” Lacey says, scrunching up her nose. “That movie is about incestual cousins screwing each other.”
“It’s the island from The Baby-Sitter’s Club: Super Special Four,” I tell them, just as Tai lets out a low moan.
We all turn to look at him.
“What on earth is it, Tai?” Lacey asks.
He seems beyond uncomfortable.
He shakes his head and then gets to his feet awkwardly.
“Tai?” I ask.
He looks at me, then looks to Lacey.
Then he goes to Richard, leans over to whisper something in his ear.
Lacey and I exchange a glance, having no idea what’s going on.
“Oh,” Richard says, eyes going round as Tai tells him something obviously shocking. “Oh my.” He suppresses a smile, and then gets to his feet and whispers something back into Tai’s ear. Tai nods, and then Richard eyes Lacey. “Lacey Loo, could you come here?”