“You don’t have to do anything.” He stopped as she wrapped her arms around him. At first, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. A couple of the pack had taken turns giving him hugs over the years. He’d always patted them on the back, not exactly sure of the proper etiquette. This time it was different. This wasn’t just any pack member. This was his mate, the woman he truly wanted. The woman he’d rejected for her own good, but now he wanted her more than anything. Slowly, so as not to startle her, he placed his palm flat on her back.
“I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. I couldn’t imagine going through a transition without the pack surrounding me. That must have been awful.”
“I got through it,” he said.
“But that’s the thing, Phoenix,” she said, pulling away. Her arms were still wrapped around him. He loved her touch. “You shouldn’t have had to.”
“Then tell me why you want to leave?” he asked. He knew it was a bad thing to mention as soon as she withdrew from him, but he couldn’t help it. He needed her to see reason.
“Don’t. You know why.”
He took hold of her hand, locking their fingers together. “I know all the reasons but I also know that I’m here now. There’s no reason for you to leave or run away.”
“And you think this is an easy decision for me?” she asked, trying to pull her hand away.
Phoenix refused to let her go.
“Damn it, let go!”
“Talk to me.”
“You hurt me. You don’t even know what you looked like, do you?” she asked. “You were utterly disgusted. You hated the idea of being mated to me. You expect me to just forget about that? It’s been five years.”
“And I grew up and I’ve been living out there in the real fucking world, where a forty-year-old man lusting after a minor, a teenager, is fucking illegal! I get it, with the pack. I get it all, but that doesn’t change who I’ve been.”
He saw the tears in her eyes.
“Damn it, Ashley, please don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying. These are not tears. I will not cry, but I … I can’t just forget.”
“I should remind you, Ashley, you were the one avoidingme. Not the other way around.”
She shook her head. “You would have hated seeing me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Seeing you was the highlight of my life. You think I didn’t have consequences after rejecting you? Do you think there wasn’t pain, anger, loneliness?” he asked.
The tears fell down her cheeks and it was killing him to see them. He didn’t want to be the cause of her tears.
“Can we just go?” Ashley asked.
“Every single day I regretted saying what I did, doing what I did, but you and I, Ashley, we’re not the same people. I’ve not grown up in this. I grew up out there, fighting to survive.”
“And you expect me to believe your opinion has changed?” she asked.
He sighed. “No, I don’t expect anything at all. I want you to understand that I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. I’m here to stay because I cannot go another period of time without seeing you, without being near you. Fuck, just holding your hand is more than enough for me right now. I’m willing to have anything you will give me.”
“What do you want from me?” she asked.
“I want it all, Ashley. I want you as my mate, by my side, and above all else, I want you to forgive me.”
Chapter Six
“Hey, sweetheart, I thought you had left already.”
Ashley looked up to see her mother enter the kitchen. She still wore her pajamas and her hair was pinned up but she could tell her mother hadn’t brushed her hair. This is what she loved about her mother. There was no fakeness. She didn’t care if people saw her less than perfect.
“Hey, Mom,” she said.