After she’s finished, she turns on her heels and walks toward the B&B. Once she’s out of sight, I go to my truck, crank the engine, and mindlessly drive around.
Never would I have imagined that today I’d wake up and discover I’m a dad. This news was so unpredictable, I feel as if I’m living in an alternate universe. Of course, it’d come when Rowan and I took the next step in our relationship.
This could change everything.
The plane lands on the runway in sunny Phoenix with my heart lodged in my throat. All I can think about is how Rowan will react to me being a dad and the fact that my son lives hundreds of miles away from me. I took off work, needing some emergency vacation days, but couldn’t bring myself to tell Rowan I was going out of town. How do I even explain this to her when I barely understand it myself?
Regardless, as soon as I have all the details, she’ll be the first to know. While Dawson bears an uncanny resemblance to me, it’s important to have proof that he’s mine. Once I have that, I’ll figure out my next steps.
Chelsea has no idea I’m here, and my nerves get the best of me as I’m handed the keys to a rental car. Showing up unexpectedly is not what I wanted to do, but after I spoke to Laurel two days ago, she suggested it’d be better to blindside Chelsea because she’d never agree to meet me otherwise. I’m not the type of man who gets a woman pregnant and walks out on my kid, and even though I didn’t know, I can’t help feeling guilty for missing Dawson’s first two years of life. After seeing how much Riley’s in love with his kid and how much pride he takes in being a dad, it’s a dagger straight to the heart.
Considering my life was finally going in the right direction with Rowan, I feel like the universe is laughing at me. Riley always said I’d hurt his sister, and though I’d never do it intentionally, this could be what it takes to screw things up. I hope she still gives me a chance after all this.
I feel uneasy as I drive to Chelsea’s apartment. I’ve never felt this level of anxiety before, but it’s like my mind can’t stop racing, and my heart is pumping in overdrive. I’ve been living in the twilight zone ever since Laurel showed up, but when I pull into the complex with brick buildings and neat hedges, I know I have to do this.
I park, wondering if this is the right decision, but my mama raised me better than to be a coward. My conscience couldn’t handle not stepping up, and running away from my problems isn’t a way to solve them. Not to mention, if she does need help supporting my son, I want to contribute any way I can.
After a deep breath, I get out of the car and walk down the sidewalk until I see her duplex. I take the stairs two at a time, and when I get to her door, I hesitate for a moment. I can hear cartoons playing and child’s laughter on the other side. Sucking in another breath, I tap on the door.
The handle jiggles, and the hard wood swings open. Our eyes meet for the first time in three years.
“Diesel,” she gasps, then swallows hard. “W-what are you doing here?” she stutters, looking around until she realizes I’m alone.
“I’m askin’ myself the same question,” I say honestly.
Her brows furrow, but she keeps her voice in a hushed tone. “How’d you get my address?”
“Laurel found me.”
“Fuck,” she whisper-hisses. “I told her to stay out of this.” Chelsea looks over her shoulder. “I’ll be right back, sweetie,” she says before stepping outside, but leaving the door cracked open.
“Look.” I keep my voice as calm as I can. “She told me about Dawson. I felt it was my duty to come here and see for myself. If he’s my kid, it’s my right to know.”
Her face softens, and she looks up at the sky, releasing a slow breath. Tears well on the rims of her eyes, and she tries to play it off, but I notice her wiping her cheeks.
“I’m sorry for showing up unannounced. Laurel has Dawson’s and your best interest in mind. She cares about you, but I gotta admit, you’ve got a lot of explainin’ to do.” I pause briefly until our eyes meet. “Like why it wasn’t you tellin’ me.”
Chelsea looks around as if she doesn’t want any of her neighbors to hear us. “Would you like to come in?”
Shaking my head, I rub my palms down my jeans. This whole situation is making me sweat.
Chelsea gives me a small smile and tilts her head toward the inside of her apartment. “I think it’s time you met your son, Diesel.”