It wasn’t too hard, not with the incredible hours we spent in bed following dinner. I had promised Christian I’d thank him properly, but in the end I was pretty sure I was the one who’d been thanked…twice. Either way, the week had been long, and the combination of wine at dinner and a pair of amazing orgasms had tuckered me out. I fell asleep in Christian’s arms, but woke up at three AM thirsty, only to find Christian staring at the ceiling.
“Why are you up?” I whispered.
He kissed the top of my head. “Go back to sleep.”
“I’m thirsty. My dinner was delicious, but salty. I’m going to grab a water. You want one?”
“No thanks.”
I snuggled back into him after chugging half a bottle. “You’re the first man I’ve ever stayed the night with, you know.”
Christian had been stroking my shoulder. His hand froze. “Really?”
I nodded. “I liked to be the one to leave. So I did it before the other person had a chance to.”
Christian was quiet for a moment. “Yet here we are. Staying together at one of our places half the nights of the week.”
I turned and propped my head up on my fist, leaning on his chest. “I trust you.”
Christian closed his eyes. “I know what that means to you.”
“God, I must come across as some kind of sad commitment-phobe.”
“Not sad. Cautious.”
I smiled. “You want to know a secret?”
“What?”
“You scare me more than anyone I’ve ever met, yet I don’t want to run away from you.”
“I’m glad. And I have a secret, too.”
“What?”
Christian leaned his head closer and whispered, “I’m scared of you, too. And you know what else?”
“What?”
“If you run because it gets to be too much, I’m going to run, too. Right after you. And I’ll catch you eventually.”
My heart felt so full. “I’m going to hold you to that, Knox.”
Christian took my hand and brought it to his lips. “I’m counting on it.”
“You should get some sleep,” I said.
“You, too. Sweet dreams.”
That night, for the first time in my life, I drifted off to sleep wondering how my dreams could get any sweeter than the reality I was experiencing. I’d never believed dreams could come true, but maybe they could.
CHAPTER 25
* * *
CHRISTIAN
My conscience even screwed with me at practice.
Or maybe it was the lack of sleep last night because I was hiding something so potentially big from Bella. But either way, it affected everything I touched—my relationship with her included.
She was too smart to miss that I was distracted, and I was scared as shit about the ramifications of her finding out I’d suspected something and hadn’t told her. But I also couldn’t bring myself to say, Hey, I think your father killed your mother without having some concrete proof. There was still a pretty good chance I was wrong, and the car was just a big, fat coincidence. She’d said herself that she didn’t want to look back anymore, so I needed to be sure. Or at least surer than I was today.
So after the coach had laid into me about my head being up my ass at practice, I decided to make a phone call.
Sitting in my car in the parking lot of the stadium, I called my brother Tyler.
“Someone die, or do you need to be bailed out?” he answered.
“What? I can’t call my big brother and check how he’s doing?”
“Of course you can. But you don’t. So which is it?”
“Neither. I need some advice and maybe a favor. Do you have some time to talk?”
“Yeah, I’m off today. What’s up?”
I sighed. “Is it alright if we talk in hypotheticals? It’s a legal issue, and I don’t want to put you in a weird position, being that you’re a cop.”
“Uh-oh. So you are in trouble?”
“No, it’s not me. I swear. But I’d like to get a copy of an old case file. Is that possible? Like, does the public have access to that stuff?”
“What kind of a case is it?”
“A hit and run.”
“What’s the status of the case?”
“Closed, I think. The accident was fourteen years ago, and the investigation hasn’t been active since the year after it happened, at least that I know of.”
“So it’s a cold case. Probably then. Most government records are obtainable under the Freedom of Information Act, unless it’s going to interfere with an investigation or a court proceeding. But if it’s that old and gone cold, chances are that’s not the case. Is it a New Jersey case?”
“It is.”
“My precinct?”
My brother worked in southeast Jersey, nowhere near the stadium. “No.”
“And you want this case file…why?”
I sighed. “I might’ve stumbled on something relevant to the case.”
“So why not take it to the police and let them decide? What’s with all the cloak-and-dagger shit?”
“Because if I’m wrong, it’s gonna re-open a lot of wounds for no reason.”