It’s almost enough to make me question our ways and traditions, which is how I know I made a huge mistake when I bit her. It’s fucking with my head, just the knowledge that my mark is on her. Right now, it’s hidden under her thick, lustrous waves. I dig my nails into my palms, staring at her hair, craving the touch of it. I can see myself burying my hands in that hair while she bobs up and down on my dick, sucking like her life depends on it. I imagine it swinging back and forth as she rides me, howling like the animal she is.
I need help. The problem is there’s no help for me. So long as my mark is on her, my wolf will have no choice but to salivate over her like he’s doing now. And that’s all it is. The mark. If it wasn’t for that, she wouldn’t stand out at all.
“Wilde.”
Of all the times for my father to approach. He’s scowling, too, though he tries to cover it. “What are you doing, standing here? People are going to get the wrong idea.”
“I’m standing here, not bothering anyone,” I remind him with more of an edge to my voice than is safe. I can’t bring myself to care much, even though I know it will piss him off if I don’t change my attitude fast.
“Why did you abandon her?” He jerks his chin toward the table, where Lili now points out something on the corner of my brother’s mouth. She picks up her napkin and blots it away, and if my father wasn’t standing beside me, I would have no choice but to throw myself across the room. I might still do that. The jury’s out.
“I didn’t abandon anyone. She’s talking with Forrest.”
“She should be talking with you.” He’s smiling for the sake of anyone who might notice us, but it’s more like gritted teeth.
“I’m sure nobody cares or even notices.”
“When are you going to get it through your thick, stubborn head?” He turns away from the rest of the room, focusing his full attention on me, and I wish he wouldn’t. I don’t know how much longer I can keep myself in check—this is torture enough as it is. “We don’t have the luxury of blending in. We can’t act thoughtlessly.”
“I didn’t know a conversation in the middle of a banquet was so fraught with meaning,” I mutter.
“She wears your mark,” he reminds me, and now his wolf is close to the surface. I see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. The growl that runs beneath his words. “If you marked her carelessly, that’s no one’s fault but your own. You need to live up to that. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, I think I got it.”
“Evidently not, if you insist on taking this attitude.”
I’m grateful when someone calls out for him—it’s Daniel, along with the alpha of the Moon Lake Pack. Dad lifts a hand before throwing one last warning over his shoulder. “Remember, we do not have the luxury of being thoughtless.”
It’s something I’ve heard my entire life. We both have—Forrest and me. I’d think we would have learned by now.
I didn’t think I was behaving thoughtlessly, was I? I was doing anything I could to prevent an explosion that would tear us all apart. What would the alpha think if he knew about that? I’m tempted to tell him, more tempted than I’ve been yet, and I would swear there’s a hand in the center of my back, pushing me toward Dad, encouraging me to tell him everything. So he’ll know I was only doing as he’s always instructed. I was protecting us.
That would be childish—and disloyal to my twin. And it would mean sinking low, hating myself. I can’t do that. No matter how tempting it is.
Speaking of tempting, I’m tempted to rip Forrest’s head from his shoulders and use it as a soccer ball. The two of us are going to need to have a talk about making a decision and sticking with it. I don’t know the specifics about the magic involved in the mating bond, but I suppose it makes sense that there’d be some lingering aftereffects despite the bond being broken. There’s nothing we can do about that—but he could fight it off and ignore it. The way I have to ignore what I’m struggling with now.
I go to the bar, currently three wolves deep, but I don’t mind waiting. Not if it means having my back to the two of them. I know what I need to do. I need to fuck her and get her out of my system. I’m still too wrapped up in the pull she has over me, which I know is entirely physical. I’ve felt her body pressed against mine. I’ve tasted her. I’ve heard the little noises she makes when she’s coming and trying to keep herself quiet. I want more of that—hell, who wouldn’t? I doubt anyone could blame me for being a healthy, horny male. I would hardly be the first.